Friday, February 24, 2012

WANDERLUST Review - AKA The Return of the Late Night Assaults

Today my body feels like it experienced a full on assault.  That's because last night I saw my first midnight movie of 2012 with my usual late night compatriot & “besties”, Anthony. 

We saw Wanderlust, it’s a sweet “fish out of water” story, but it never belabors all of the “fish out of water” gimmicks found in many other romantic comedies.  Written by The State alums Ken Marino & David Wain, it almost seemed out of place to see a modern adult comedy that doesn’t misconstrue joke telling with “gross out gags”.

Wain also directs Paul Rudd & Jennifer Aniston as a couple who find themselves unemployed in NYC with a living situation they can no longer afford.  They are forced to up heave their lives and move to Atlanta with Rudd’s brother played by Marino.  On the way, they end up at a hippie commune.

The cast also includes Justin Theroux (as the commune’s guru), Alan Alda (as the owner of the commune) and the woman I will eventually leave my wife for, Malin Akerman (you know her as the Silk Spectre in Watchmen, I know her as Dr. Valerie Flame from Children’s Hospital).  Other State members appearing include Kerri Kenney, the entire cast of Stella and Joe Lo Truglio & his cock (get it memebers?). 

Seriously, seeing this film, you must be prepared to have a lot of cock in your face.  Speaking of, it brings back some memories of yesteryear with other "face cockings". 

In 2011, Ant and I saw more than a few late night screenings:  Horrible Bosses (also with Aniston), Pirates of the Caribbean 4 and Cowboys vs Aliens among them.  Sometimes the theater is packed, and you find yourself sitting elbow to elbow with your fellow man.  Other times there isn't another soul in site.  But every time you see a late film, there’s the potential…to fall asleep.

Some times I even take precautions to try and jump start my body so I won’t fall asleep during a late screening.  For example, before Cowboys vs. Aliens, Ant and I ate a bunch of bean burritos from Taco Bell.  Our logic, "you can’t sleep if you’re constantly farting" (our wives may know otherwise).  But alas, the fart food didn’t work and Anthony had to recap the second act and most of the 3rd acts for me.  Also, I suspect he may have molested me.  Perhaps pay back for the little nocturnal cock in the face I gave him while he slept during The Pirates of the Caribbean?  Again, I can’t be certain, but on the ride home he laughed every time I opened my mouth wide to yawn.

Last night, in an attempt to fight off the potential snooze (and face cocking), I decided to amp myself up on Twinkies.  SUGAR!  What could possibly go wrong?  Did it work you ask?  Well I made it through Wanderlust without a wink.  Unfortunately I also lost a couple toes after going into diabetic shock.  When I awoke from surgery, I saw Bosco through my groggy eyes.  He was sitting by my bedside, laughing. 

I gotta hand it to him, that bastard never misses a chance to put a cock in your face.

See Wanderlust (2 and 1/2 out of 4 cocks to the face).

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