Friday, April 24, 2015

How I Saved Bradley Cooper A Couple Of Bucks (Or Some Dude Who Looked Like Him)

Saturday April 11th marked the 9th annual "Logan's Heroes" benefit. Logan's Heroes is a benefit held yearly by my brother Brian and sister-in-law Vicki, in honor of their son Logan (my nephew), who was born and passed away in 2005. 

There are many things to appreciate about the event, but one of the things I have cherished year after year, is not just my buddy Gordon coming out to support the cause, but the fact that he never wins anything in the raffles! It might paint me as a bit of an asshole, but it (not so) secretly would make me extremely happy. It had gotten so bad, he would write "Gordon Regan" on his tickets, thinking either the name would bring him luck, or that "the fix was in" and the surname would help alleviate that. Personally, I think it's falsifying a document, and is probably against the law (I have notified the proper authorities).

Gordon, BEFORE a name was called.
Gordon, AFTER a name was called (not his - Streak still intact)
9 years in, I'm sorry to say, the streak has been broken. And mightily! Not only was the name "Gordon Holmes" read aloud. It was read TWICE! And to make matters worse, Gordon's own fiancée would also walk out a winner (I can assure you, NOT because she's his fiancée...but because her name was also called out in the raffle). 

Look how smug he looks, with all his loot!
THREE things! This can't be!

What did I walk away with? Nothing! Zip! NADA! ZERO!!!

I mean, sure I won a set of Flyers beer glasses. However, we gave them to our friend Jimmy who is a huge Flyers fan. NOT because I am a nice guy, but because as my beautiful wife said, "We have no more room in our cabinets."

So off we went, empty handed.

I put my daughter into her car seat and my wife got in our car. Just then I noticed a young couple had parked at the meter in front of us. Since I already gave away my only winning of the night, I was in a kindhearted mood.

"Hey, did you want my meter? I have like another hour on it," I said to the guy.

"Oh, I just paid," he said turning and looking at me.


"Oh, man! That's too bad," a pretty woman said as she exited the driver side of the car. 

"It was only about an hour," I consoled her.

"Every little bit helps, right?" she asked through an adorable Russian accent

"Yep," I said. "Also, Limitless was a supremely underrated movie!" I didn't say.

Off they walked to enjoy the nightlife in Bam Margera's town as I got in the car and turned to my wife saying, "That was totally fucking Bradley Cooper, right???" (We curse a lot)

"I don't fucking think so." (I might be paraphrasing what Julie said)


So that's the end of the story,

I may or may not have met Bradley Cooper.
I didn't take home any winnings from the raffle.
Gordon finally broke the streak I had hoped would continue forever.
Jimmy got my glass.
I curse a lot.


...until this story came out today!!!

Bradley Cooper Goes on a Broadway Date with Model Irina Shayk

The picture in People is TOTALLY the girl who was driving in West Chester a couple weeks ago! 


Did Gordon meet Bradley Cooper and his GF? Nope! 
Just me baby! 
And Julie (who still maintains it wasn't them). 
Clearly she's wrong. 

Because, "Every little bit helps," INDEED!