Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Things You Hear At A Hockey Game

  1. secretly listen to a conversation.
    "she opened the window just enough to eavesdrop on the conversation outside"
    synonyms:listen in on, spy on; 

The etymology of which (according to Wikipedia) is rather fascinating:

The verb eavesdrop was originally a back-formation of the noun eavesdropper ("a person who eavesdrops") which was formed from the unrelated noun eavesdrop ("the dripping of water from the eaves of a house; the ground on which such water falls"). An eavesdropper was one who stood at the eavesdrop (where the water fell, i.e., near the house) so as to overhear what was said inside

I suppose, based on the definition above, what I did last night at the Flyers vs Bruins hockey game, could be labeled as eavesdropping. However, when people are drinking and loud, I think it just counts as hearing shit you don't necessarily want to hear. It's not like I put my hand up to my ear to listen.

My friend Alli was kind enough to take myself and my friends Kristin and Shaun to the game. It was a lot of fun, much of which was generated by the fact that Kristin had never been to a hockey game. Based on some of the questions she asked, she had likely never even seen a game before.

My favorite question:

"So do the teams just take turns which one is on the power play?"

In fairness, with the refs these days, the answer is probably "yes."

She had a blast causing all of us to have a blast!

But alas, fair reader, that has little to do with this story. I was merely providing the setting (also, we had WAAAAY better seats than the video of the PEEEEEECOOOOOOO POWER PLAAAY! above).

Sitting to my left was a gentleman along with a younger lad, who may or may not have been his son. They both were partaking of many a Miller Lite, of which, I'm not certain the young man was old enough to imbibe in, but who am I to judge?

Unlike many sporting events, I wasn't in a constant battle for the arm rest. Alli was to my right and she didn't use her arm rest at all.

*I'm not sure if it's just a male thing. I have noticed over the years, no female I have ever sat next to uses her armrest. And this is after keeping my arms at the side to see if they're going to use it or not. I may not drink Miller Lite with underage kids, but I too am a gentleman, after all. Also, women are awesome, but I digress.

The aforementioned fellow gave up the arm rest as soon as we sat down. I didn't use it much, possibly because he relinquished it so easily, which says more about me than him, but that also, has little to do with this story.

As the game starts to wind down, the Flyers are still trailing 2-1, Wayne Simmons the Orange & Black's only goal scorer. I start to think, "well at least I have my 50/50 tickets." Unlike the last game I went to with Julie where I lost my tickets turning them into a Schrodinger's cat situation before the drawing. I both won and lost, yet neither won nor lost. At least I don't have to pay taxes on it!

I happen to overhear a mere part of a conversation that can ONLY be heard at a sporting event. It went something like this:

Gentleman: So how's Mark?
Young Guy: He's good. But doesn't hang out much anymore.
Gentleman: Why not?
Young Guy: Well, he had a kid.
Gentleman: Oh yeah? A boy or a girl?
Young Guy: (after waaay to long for a 50/50 question that should be easy to answer) a girl.
Gentleman: (indistinguishable sound of approval)

A few moments go by.

Young Guy: I don't know about the mother though.

It's not clear, though I believe he means the mother of the baby. Odd that he didn't say Mark's wife, or girlfriend, or what have you.

Gentleman: How do you mean?
Young Guy: I think she's retarded or something.
Gentleman: How so?
Young Guy: She has a Russian accent.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that more than likely, she's Russian.

I also didn't win the 50/50.

Wayne Simmons would go on to score again to tie it up, but Boston scored with about 2 minutes left to play to make it 3-2, which ended up being the final score.

It's too bad really. I was pulling for Simmons to score a 3rd goal, so I could throw Kristin's hat on the ice. It would have been fun to explain to her what the hell was happening.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Twitter To The Rescue!

Have you ever lost your cell phone or your wallet or both and become overwhelmed with rage? HULK SMASH sort of rage?

What are you to do?

Well if you're famous, you can tweet about it, in hopes that your fan base will step up and save the day.

And that's just what smashing Hulk star Mark Ruffalo did during Winter Storm Jonas.

(I could totally write for US Weekly...is that still a thing? And yes, I know saying "Hulk star" is technically incorrect as Ruffalo wasn't in a "Hulk" move, but rather played the Hulk in various movies...but even with that indiscretion my future with US Weekly should be secure)

I like Ruffalo, and am glad things worked out for him. But it got me thinking, are there other celebrities who have used their fame to help their "cause"?

Let's explore:

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Supreme Leader

Every photo of this guy makes it look like he's "mid-fart."

The fact that the U.S. Air Force is sending a "sniffer" jet to Korea, just reinforces my belief.

The Story

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

My 2nd Biggest Fear About Facebook

My biggest fear about Facebook, is I miss my daughter's life by spending too much time on it. That's the main reason I removed it from my phone. This way I am forced to either completely remove myself, by going on the computer in my office while at home, or ignore Facebook all together.

I'm not the perfect father, as I still have access to Twitter, Instagram, and the ComedySportz Facebook page on my phone (Hey, I gotta a job to do). BUT I don't have a way to go browsing around Facebook.

My SECOND biggest fear about Facebook, is my final post. Because sooner or later, you'll write your final post. Which brings us to the story about Matthew DeRemer. He was killed by a drunk driver on New Year's Eve, but not before posting this to his Facebook account:

Last day of 2015!!!! For me I'll be meditating through all I do, on this entire year. I've lost, I've gained, family is closer and tougher than ever before, loved ones lost, and new friends found. There has been many times where I've been found on my knees in prayer for hours (relentless) and other times leading a group of people in prayer, my faith (that I love to share) is an everyday awakening (to me) that people, lives, and circumstances can change for the better OVER TIME. I look back at 2015's huge challenges that I've overcome, shared with others, and have once again found myself... To say thank you and BRING ON 2016, much works to be done!

And I really don't know where I'll end up tonight but I do know where I windup is where I'm meant to be😋

Though it's a bit "Jesusy" for my liking, it's a very nice sentiment. Then the poor soul was killed when an asshole wouldn't contain his partying to himself.

I hope that Mr. DeRemer's family & friends are able find some peace in his elegant words. 

Matthew DeRemer also posted this Meme.

ONE DAY. So true.
And, ONE DAY, you will write your last post on Facebook. My hope for you is that your final post, which comes many many years down the road, is as heartfelt as this.

Though more than likely your loved ones will be left with this:

Monday, January 4, 2016

Minutes Into 2016...


About 5 years ago, I became a company member of ComedySportz Philadelphia. I can't tell you what an honor it was and how amazing it continues to be.

The other company members are my friends, and some of them are as close to me as family. The shows (or matches) are still as incredible to participate in as they are to watch. This weekend was no exception. 

I was neither in the matches, nor in the "arena" to watch them. Instead I watched this whole story unfold over social media. 

We perform matches every Saturday night at 7:30pm & 10pm. Saturday 1/2/2016 was no different...more or less.  There are 40+ members in the company and hundreds of games to choose from. Each match features between 8 and 11 players (which includes a musician) and 9 games (give or take). Because it's improv, EVERY SHOW IS DIFFERENT. 

The 7:30pm match was sold out. Not an empty seat could be seen.

Then, the 10pm match. Also, not an empty seat could be seen, but that's because at 9:55pm, the entire city block in Philadelphia lost power due to a Restaurant fire nearby. The Theater was plunged into darkness. What to do?

I'll allow our artistic director Dave Jadico to explain:

The entire block had a power outage at 9:55PM. We decided to do the match anyways. We offered refunds to anyone who wanted to leave, explained that we would do an hour and ten minute match without a halftime. Everyone was excited to be a part of it, no one left. We adjusted a few games, shortened the show by one game and removed the halftime. Fortunately, our accompanist Josh Rosen had brought his acoustic guitar, so he did all underscoring and music acoustically, including singing Closing Time at the end as the audience left. The National Anthem sounded like the whole audience was sitting around a campfire. I’ve never heard the entire audience sing that loud. Several of the new cast members held flash lights from the center aisle, a few fire safety lights were on and many audience members provided cell phone lighting. Additionally, a woman was there in one of those huge powered wheel chairs that had a HEADLAMP on it. She provided all of the side lighting that you see in the photo on Facebook. We started the match with Ghost Story with a flash light for pointing at the players like we do at Halloween. We played Radio Play with John Zak as the announcer and the audience provided the rumbling for an earthquake John described by stomping their feet, UNSOLICITED. It was one of the most spontaneous and awesome things we have ever done. The audience had a blast, the players had a blast.

Intro in the DARK

Company member and CSzPhiladelphia Director of Education Kristin Finger (one of those "family members" I mentioned earlier) has a hashtag she lives by: #ImprovSavesLives 

The New Jersey Turnpikes getting ready in the dark - Photo courtesy of Darryl Charles 
The Philadelphia Fighting Amish getting ready in the dark - Photo courtesy of Don Montrey 
I couldn't agree more, though on this night you could amend it to #ImprovSavesLights and you'd get the same sentiment.

Volunteer Player photo - courtesy of CSzPhiladelphia
If you've never seen a ComedySportz match, I implore you to do so. 
If you HAVE seen a ComedySportz match, I implore you to see another one. As I stated above, they're never the same show twice.

If you're in the Philly area check out www.comedysportzphilly.com/tickets/ for details or hit me up and I might give you a couple of comps.

If you're no where near the Philly area, check out www.cszworldwide.com/find-csz-worldwide.html for a city nearest you.