Friday, July 20, 2018


This week my dryer died, so my wife and I were forced to purchase a new one. After a lot of research, we settled on a Maytag model from Lowe's that is highly rated by Consumer Reports.

It also had an inordinate amount of positive feedback from it's buyers, with only a couple of grumpy exceptions, such as, "Have fun running your dryer two or three times to get things dry."
This didn't bother me, as I often had to run my old dryer multiple times for optimum dryness. So far, that has not been the case with this one.

But that's not the point.

The point is I got an email yesterday from Lowe's which read:

Dear Kevin,

Congratulations! Your recent purchase on during our MyLowe’s 10% off sitewide promotion has qualified you to receive one free charcoal Google Home Mini*!

Like everyone else I immediate thought two things:

1.) Where's the catch? Because nothing is free.
2.) What the hell is a charcoal mini?

I assumed we were talking about some sort of charcoal grill.

Find a photo of a grill that doesn't have meat on it
(Don't zoom probably does)
But what stumped me was the "Google" part.

Does Google make a charcoal grill? I mean, they make everything else, so a grill doesn't seem completely out of the realm of possibility.

But what would a high tech grill look like?
Something like this, perhaps?
But this sure as hell isn't Google.
Or would it just be an update to an already existing product?

The Foreman Grill: Lobot Edition is on sale May 4th ONLY!!!

Odds are it would be a CRAZY high tech grill, most of which's functions I'll never truly understand.

Are those Ghost People? Did Google invent Ghost People?!?

It turns out it's not a grill at all, but rather a speaker which happens to be charcoal. Not sure why they needed to make a big deal out of the color.

So the next party I have, I'll be blasting my music through this bad boy that I got for free!

Though I won't play the music too loud, as we all know what happens when you try to have a good time and some asshole has to make a bid deal out of color.

BBQ Becky: "Hi, my name is Becky.
Can I get that speaker in white?
Like REALLY white?
I only want it to be able to play
Lee Greenwood music."