Monday, September 25, 2017

Don't Eat Elephants!

Where on earth does a child learn such odd behavior?



























Oh right. That makes sense.


Friday, September 8, 2017

First Day of School

Yesterday was Kit's first day of Pre-school. The first time she was in a structured classroom setting (for the entire day!) I'll jump to the ending, she did great! But for a minute or two, I wasn't sure how it would turn out.

First - she fell asleep the night before at approximately 5:30pm. WTF?!? This HAS happened before, but it's extremely rare. She slept over 12 freaking hours! So when she woke up, she was extremely pleasant and agreeable.

Second - I got her cheerios for breakfast, but then she walked across the room and picked up Bisquick that happened to be sitting out and announced, "I want pancakes." Julie, happy to make Kit's first day of school special, quickly whipped up vegan pancakes (which isn't as quick or easy as it sounds). Kit ate her pancakes AND cereal!



Third - getting dressed. Always a potential challenge. Kit is usually up for wearing whatever you suggest, but she's also three and often remembers that. This day, she wore what Julie had laid out for her with no objections. She even let us do her hair, which is always a risky gambit.

Fourth - the Photo. Of course we took it. About 8 of them in various locations.


Finally Five - the drop off. Went off without a hitch.

Julie and I were shocked. We spent the rest of the morning at Frankie's on Fairview (of MacDade Blvd), and then went home where I vacuumed and mopped the kitchen floor. The we went clothes shopping. Then to lunch. All biding our time before picking Kit up from school.

When 3 o'clock finally came around we picked our daughter up by walking into her classroom as required. As Kit said goodbye to her teacher with a handshake (also required so the teacher knows when each kid has been picked up), the teacher asked, "Kit, what kind of pet do you have?" Julie and I stood in the back of the room listening to our sweet, precious child lie! "Well," which is how Kit starts almost every sentence, "I don't have a pet, but if I did, I'd want a chicken."


What the hell?!?

For the record, we have 5 rescued cats (indoors) and 1 feral (outdoor) who we take care of (by we, I am including Kit!)

Our kitchen looks more yellow in photos than it is in reality.
So now apparently, I have to look into rescuing chickens...though knowing Julie's track record, she'll find one (or ten) while driving home from work tonight.

Monday, July 17, 2017

ComedySportz & The Punch Up Podcast (MASH UP!)


This Saturday (July 22nd) is the 25th Anniversary of ComedySportz in Philadelphia. It's the longest running show in Philly!!!

I have been extremely fortunate to have been a cast member since 2011 and a Board Member for about the same amount of time. 


In my time with CSz Philadelphia, I have met some of the kindest, funniest, and most talented people in the city...and also Joe Sabatino.

If you're able to make it to the special 25th Anniversary match(es) this Saturday night (7pm or 9:30pm) located at The Mandell Theater on Drexel University's campus, I highly encourage you to do so! I have been working with some of the best and brightest to produce this momentous night. So cancel your eff-ing plans and do this!!!

Get your tickets by CLICKING here.

Last week and this week, The Punch Up Podcast has been hosting players, to tell their ComedySportz origin stories.  Here's mine...no spider bites, no alien rings, and no dead parents in an alley way. Just good old fashion "Yes, And."


Thursday, July 6, 2017

Reunions vs Insecurities

When my 5 year High School reunion came around in 1999, I had no intention of going. And I didn't. Not that I didn't like High School, but I knew it was more than just my friends that I'd be revisiting, I would also be reunited with all of my insecurities - of which there are many.
I was still enrolled in college and was still working the same retail job I had at the end of High School (though now in management). I was however in a new relationship in which I had high hopes.

Then my 10 year reunion rolled around. It was 2004. I had reconnected with a lot of classmates on Facebook and decided I was going to go to the reunion. I even told a few people I would be there. To make things even easier, the reunion was being hosted at a bar only a handful of blocks from where I was living. But, though we're not friends on Facebook, my insecurities "poked" me reminding me they were still around.

I was STILL working that same retail job, just a different location. Never mind that I was really good at it. I was in an apartment not a house. I also wasn't working in Hollywood, which would for a long time be the measuring stick I'd fall way short of...of course I had been making short films with my partner Joel, as well as working in some pretty spectacular theatrical productions...oh yeah, and I married that pretty awesome lady from the relationship 5 years earlier.

Tick, tock, tick, tock...then it's 15 years, 2009. I don't recall my excuse for this one at all. I guess at that point I had given up on even fooling myself into thinking I was going to go.

I was no longer working in retail, but rather at a Fortune 500 company - though you wouldn't know it from my paycheck. My wife and I were home owners. I had a pretty successful web series, with another one on the horizon. But still those insecurities were getting older and wiser.

Boom! 20 years! 2014.
I have a kid.
I go.

Is that the difference? Is that why I was able to say, "You know what? Fuck this! I'm going."

I see a bunch of people I haven't seen (other than on Facebook) in 20 years! --- That's fucking crazy! I'm not old enough to have not seen people I was extremely close with in 20 fucking years!

But there I was. I left all my insecurities behind...but they caught an Uber. Halfway through the evening, they appeared. And not just mine. It seemed everyone's came too. Uber had a carpool rate. Halfway though the night, I watched as all of the cliques started to reform. Nobody was pushed into a locker and no wedgies were given, but slowly people started to gravitate to the people they were most comfortable with. Never mind that most of us have kids, and mortgages, and bad knees, and gray hair (if we have any at all). The same unspoken worries connect us all, yet we all reverted right back to 1994 as those insecurities drank on our tab.

Jump ahead 3 more years, to two weeks ago - Saturday June 24th.


A reunion.


Not mine. So zero insecurities.

My wife's reunion. Not High School. But a group closer than High Schoolers could ever be. You HAVE to go to High School, but Pulsations was a place where so many young "outsiders" in High School could feel comfortable in their own skin. Call them freaks, or misfits, or punks, or whatever, they were all kids going through many of the same things, together.



A wonderful reunion was put together at Bar XI (Used to be Mojo 13) because Pulsations is no longer around (a retirement home is in it's place, which I like to point out to my wife). The night celebrated all of the "kids" who used to hang out at Pulsations as well as Steve Singer who would spin the records they would dance to.



I "people watched" throughout the night and noticed how comfortable everybody seemed with each other. 20 some odd years later, and it seemed like these old friends had just seen each other in the alternative room last Sunday night.

Though some have remained close, there didn't see to be any cliques within the group. Just everyone getting together to dance and have a good time.


Julie had spoken so highly of so many of these faceless names I was now able to meet. Of course there were a handful of them I had already met. Everyone of them, new and old, was kind and welcoming to me, the new outsider.



And their music was pretty okay, too.

At some point during the night, watching my wife dancing from across the bar, I realized this is her ComedySportz.



Everyone belongs somewhere. It's an amazing thing when you find those places, because insecurities can't afford the cover charge.


************************************

OKAY, some truth for you: I actually started writing this a few days after the reunion. Then I decided not to post it. I'm not exactly sure why. A lot of time I hide behind comedy when I want to say anything or meaning, and this post isn't particularly funny. For every 10 blogs I post, I probably delete 1 for that same reason.

Insecurities? Probably.

Then last night, Julie found out one of her friends from Pulsations (and the reunion two weeks ago) passed away suddenly.


Now it feels like not posting it because the writing isn't from a comedic point of view is disingenuous.

I'm very grateful that Julie got to go to this reunion and see her friend one last time. I'm glad that any insecurities she may have felt were beaten back allowing her this opportunity. I'm also honored to have been adopted by this fine group of people, and look forward to going to the next Pulsations reunion.

Don't let your insecurities keep you from doing something you love.

Friday, June 2, 2017

Spelling Bee - A Lifetime Original

I'm not going to pretend that I didn't get super excited midway through and think this show might become a real thing!

But alas, no one has yet committed.

I am a bit surprised it didn't get just a little bit more traction:





I guess to get any real notice on Twitter, you have to be a cartoony evil billionaire who's constantly putting our planet in peril.

Well, at least Anna Faris liked it.





Seriously, you think she'd play the voice of the agent?

(as seen on twitter.com/YourHeroKevin)

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

mis·di·rec·tion/misdəˈrekSHən/


Donald Trump: Oh man! The walls are closing in around me. This Russian thing won't go away. Soon they'll know the truth and then I'm done! What can I do to throw the public off the scent?

(TWEETS)

Donald Trump: My work is done here.

Monday, May 22, 2017

JIZZ MOTEL

Tomorrow is my wife's birthday.

This week's episode of The Punch Up Podcast is a love letter to her.

She should have gotten out when she had a chance!