Friday, June 15, 2007

Terror on the Phone

Perhaps it is time for the terrorists to turn down the air conditioning. That way they wouldn't need to wear such heavy masks indoors. And really, it hardly goes with the rest of the ensemble. Rule of thumb fellas, the mask should match your belt...not a must, but at least put in some effort.

Terrorists are some of the worst contributers to global could say they are terrorizing Mother nature. But one would probably have their behinds handed to them for saying such a foolish thing in mixed company.

I do like the water bottle in the background. It shows that at least the fellow is health conscious. Sure, not in regards to "others" health, but conscious nontheless. He is at least away of the concept of "health." I thought about using Photoshop and adding a "TAB," but I felt that would be cheap...also I don't have Photoshop (because I am cheap).

My sources reveal this terrorist is making a "crank" phone call.

What follows is the transcript I was able to ascertain.

For those that are weak of heart, easily scared or over all just a pussy might want to skip ahead to the next blog (Which will likely be about fat guys dress as superheroes).

GWB: Hello?
Bad Guy: Yes. Yes is this George?
GWB: Yes.
Bad Guy: Um, yes is your refrigerator running?
GWB: You mean does it have electricity running to it?
Bad Guy: Is it running?
GWB: Well I just had a ham sandwich…I used mayo. I sure hope the mayo isn’t bad if that’s what you’re asking.
Bad Guy: Is your refrigerator running?
GWB: The little light came on when I opened the door. I also heard a cow “mooing.” The girls got me one of them fridge alarms for Father’s Day. They feel dad is getting a bit rounder…(Laughter).
Bad Guy: Ah…ok. SO then you’d say that the refrigerator is running.
GWB: I was a bit perturbed.
Bad Guy: (Silence)
GWB: I had a hankering for some tomato, that’s why I made the sandwich. I sat down and started to watch Baywatch and half way through I realized I forgot the tomato. That’s half way through the sandwich, not the episode of Baywatch.
Bad Guy: Right.
GWB: I was upset, but what was a guy to do? So I finished the sandwich of course. Then I got a slice of tomato and put some salt on it. I know it’s not healthy, but it’s the weekend.
Bad Guy: I gotta go…
GWB: Then I thought a little salad dressing would probably go a long way here. Paul Newman’s Italian. Laur loves it. But then I thought, I can’t just pick it up and make a mess…and how much more bread should I eat. Then it hit me…a soft pretzel.
Bad Guy: Right.
GWB: I invented a nice afternoon snack. Feelin’ pretty good about myself today.
So…anywho…to answer your previous question, yes my refrigerator is running.
Hello? Hello? Must of hung up.

The President hangs up the phone. He pushes a button and a voice comes over the speaker.

Amy: Yes Mr. President.
GWB: Amy, would you get me Lincoln Bowling Alley?
Amy: Yes sir.

The President just sits there.

Amy: Mr. President? Lincoln Bowling Alley on line 2.

The President picks up the phone.

GWB: Yes sir, do you have 16 pound balls?
Bowling Alley Manager: Yes sir.
GWB: How do you sit down?

1 comment:

Sean said...

you've turned into a right funny bitch, do ya know that?