Friday, June 29, 2007

Hell Yeah For America!!!

How did the 4th of July become the holiday where we blow shit up? Wouldn’t you think on a day that celebrates casting off your oppressors, you’d want it to be as peaceful as possible?

Why do terrorists hate us so much? You’d think that any country that celebrates it’s independence by blowing shit up would be on their “good side.”

How did the Roman Empire stand so powerful with nothing more than Roman Candles to fight off the enemies?

Why do “snakes” get lumped in with fireworks? All they really do is stain the sidewalk and smell like crap.

Bang Snap? Couldn’t make up you mind huh? That’s be like calling a rooster a Cuck-a-doodle-ba-gawk!

Can a cherry bomb really blow up a toilet or is that a myth, like the female orgasm?

Is it unpatriotic to by an American Flag made in China? And what if the dye in the flag runs? “These colors…um, never mind.”

What are the odds of a person named America speaking English?

If you find the concept of the American Dream sexy, is it possible for you to have a Wet American Dream?


Anonymous said...

Looking forward to tomorrow. I hope you don't blow off a finger, well maybe if it'a non important finger like a ring finger that would be funny. Just not your wedding band hand b/c that wouldn't be fair to Julie.

Kinda related to a person named "America"....there was a chick who was named Usnavys- pronounced US-Nav-Vays. She was Puerto Rican. Her mother named her after a guy she liked who was in the US Navy. No joke.

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