Friday, April 8, 2011

USA is Closed

Why is the government going to shut down tonightat midnight ?  Because the new speaker of the house is fucking with Jed Bartlet!

OK, I admit for years I wanted The West Wing to come true, but I meant the Sorkin years, not the garbage John Wells wrote.  Seriously, Donna is going to blow up and Leo is going to have a heart attack in the woods.  Someone do something!

But the reality is the USA is closing up shop.

The government will shut down tonight at midnight to save money for the fine American tax payers.  What a great bunch of people that govern us.  I’m sorry what’s that?   It will actually cost taxpayers money to shut down?  And it will cost even more money to start back up again?  Then why the fuck are these twats shutting down?

The answer:  because my political party has a bigger dick than your political party.

"There is absolutely no way this saves money. Zip," said Bo Cutter, former director of the National Economic Council and a senior fellow at the Roosevelt Institute (also, I would speculate, a Sorkin fan).

Though the White House says it will cost tax payers money, it has yet to produce an estimate of how much that bill will be.
"When you have to shut something down, that costs money, and ramping something back up costs money," said Jeffrey Zients, deputy director of the Office of Management and Budget (and owner of a “Wells SMELLS!” t-shirt).
So it will actually cost money to shut things down, then will cost additional money to start them back up.  But that’s not all, those costs will increase the longer a shutdown lasts.

"The longer a shutdown is in place, the more extensive the costs become," said John F. Cooney, a partner at law firm Venable (and an avid hater of John Wells)
But here’s the real kick in the teeth to everyone filing their income taxes by April 14th, when Congress eventually passes a spending bill ending the self imposed shut down, the "essential" workers who were kept on the job will automatically be paid for the time they worked during the shutdown.  I have no problem with this.  If you work, you should be paid.  But that’s only half of the story, the 800,000+ other federal employees, will very likely get back pay, even for days they didn't work.  Meaning, enjoy the vacation folks.  It’s on Joe Public!

There is no guarantee that this back pay will happen, however in every previous government shutdown, Congress has authorized it. 

Once a dickbag always a dickbag.

I know it’s not the fault, and likely not the wish for those government workers to be temporarily booted to the curb during the shut down, but if they do receive their back pay for “time off,” the work they should have been doing during that time will have piled up.  Meaning overtime will be issued when their back. 

Again paid for by tax payers like you and me and Aaron Sorkin.  And even John Wells.

1 comment:

Katie said...

I like this... a lot. Mostly because of the West Wing references. But also because you explained, quite plainly (and humorously at that) why my prediction was right: I said they'd never shut it down right now because of how bad shape the economy already is in. They'd never hear the end of it.

But, not so much which party's appendage is bigger... looks like they saved that debate for another day.