A LONG, LONG WEEKEND!

Sometimes it's hard to remember what I did over a weekend. There are a lot of times, when Monday morning rolls around, it doesn't seem like I did much of anything. THIS was NOT one of those weekends!

I figured I should put it down in writing, so on those "lazy weekends" I can remember why the LAZY is so desperately needed!

FRIDAY:

Normally my work day is 6am to 2:30pm. However, there was nothing normal about Friday April 8!

I started off filming a safety program for "Slips, Trip, and Falls." On this particular day, we were working on the OFFICE version. I don't typically like to film on half days, as there's not time to get much done. However, I wanted to at least get a handful of shots "in the can," so I could edit them Monday morning. 

That box is heavier than you think!
(Actually it's empty)

I was only working a half day, 6-10am. I had another commitment elsewhere.

My daughter's principal was hosting "An Ice Cream Social" at the school and they needed parent volunteers to help hand out the ice cream to the students (as well as sorbet - yay VEGAN!).  

This is our John Hughes photo. Very "Breakfast Club."

We were heroes to those kids! Thanks to Scoops of Media for the ice cream/sorbet.

There was about a hour of school left after all of the ice cream was handed out (those poor teachers!) So I had time to kill. I walked around Media for about 45 minutes.

It was nice and not something I get to do as regularly as I'd like to during the week.

"Walking around media" consisted of getting coffee at Cafe Isla and a shit load of candy at Games on State. the arcade on State Street.

Once Kit's school ended, we went home and walked the dog. Then, I headed to Fan Expo (previously Wizard World) in Philadelphia for the first of three very different shows this weekend (two of which were at Fan Expo).

I played NerdProv with ComedySportz (in our NEW uniforms!)

Always one of my favorite matches of the year, and this one was special.

With the exception of Remark with Kristin & Mike, and a performance of Roll Play in late December with Shaun, I hadn't performed with any of these fine people in a very long time!

It was my first ComedySportz match since March 8, 2020!
That was 761 days ago!!!

After the match, many of us hung out on the exhibit floor...after all WE'RE at Fan Expo!

SATURDAY:

We had a slightly early start to Saturday morning as we needed to get Kit up, breakfast, and dressed in her softball uniform for her team photos at 9am, AKA pure chaos! I forgot, as a coach, I had to get a photo too! I met the team's head coach to get MY uniform.

TWO NEW UNIFORMS THIS WEEKEND!
(You'll have to tune back in for THOSE photos once we get them).

Then Kit and I hightailed it over to her theater class at the Media Theater (still in her softball uniform). We were about 10 minutes late. If you know me, you know this is worse than being stabbed in the gut to me!

I then had down time as I waited for Kit's class to end. I walked to the softball field, where Kit's softball league would be having Opening Day ceremonies in the afternoon.

They found that their American flag was missing! So, as the Media Area Girls Softball board prepped the field for Opening Day, I ran to Deal's in Media and bought a lot of American flags! I even helped hang them and the MAGS banners. If they are crooked, you know who to blame.

That's not crooked, that's the wind blowing!

Then, after Kit's class, we went grocery shopping since she was staying over Grammy's house that night.

I made Kit & myself lunch as Julie did our taxes. Then I took the dog for a walk.

Kit and I packed the car for her sleep over AND went back to the softball field for Opening Day!

Kit wanted EVERYONE of these balloons!

The Opening Day was filled with a bounce house, Easter egg hunt, and hanging out with friends! A very welcome return to normalcy that these kids have been missing for the past two years.

The mayor even threw out the first pitch...twice. He wanted a do-over. 

Robert A. McMahon - Mayor of Media, PA

I then took Kit straight to Grammy's. "The Greatest Showman" immediately went on the TV and I headed home to shave my beard into a mustache...

It was for a show that night, I swear!

City Theater had been hired by The Delaware Contemporary to help with their fundraiser. 

So Kerry and I developed and performed "An Art Heist."

This was an absolute JOY! Some of these people I hadn't performed with in many, many years! Who do you think stole the painting?
(*It was determined by the patrons)

After the show, Julie and I drove home from Wilmington. I staved off my mustache. We couldn't find anywhere to eat a late night dinner. So we drove BACK to Delaware and went to Home Grown in Newark. Good thing gas is so cheap!

After dinner we went home and fell asleep many times during Saturday Night Live.

SUNDAY:

(*It ain't over yet!)

Awoken by a puking cat, we feed the animals and decided to take advantage of having the house to ourselves and watched like 4 episodes of Parks & Rec.

We took the dog for a walk and found the sun to be a big fat liar as it was much colder than the thermometer indicated. It was a quick walk.

Julie went to pick up Kit and went to my third and final show of the weekend...back to Fan Expo to do a recording of Remark in front of a LIVE audience.

THIS was also the first time, in the two years of doing Remark, that Kristin and I (and Mike) were in the same room!

It was an awesome, dare I say "exhausting," weekend.

I got to see some dear friends, reconnect with people I haven't seen in two years, and meet many new faces! Including Harley Quinn.

I also behaved and barely spent any money at the various events I attended...except the $1100 I spent on gas!

Sean Gunn Has Amazing Hair!!!

Let me start off by saying this:

Sean Gunn has tremendous hair!
Absolutely gorgeous!
Like, possibly top 5 hairdos ever!

I know that sounds like I'm pandering, but I mean it.
And I've studied the hell out of his hair!

Why you ask?
Because there are too many ways to spell his name.

Wait, what?!?

Bear with me...

November 3rd 2013, my friend (or he'd soon become my friend), Shaun Kreider was cast into ComedySportz.

My own ComedySportz mentor, Sean Curran, would constantly tell Shaun, he's spelling his name wrong.

According to the Bleacher Report, there are 11 variations of "Sean."

For example the aforementioned Sean and Shaun, as well as Shawn, Shawne, and even the overly Irish, Chone. For our purposes we're just going to stick with Sean & Shaun.

Somewhere around the end of 2016, I had told another ComedySportz Player/Friend, Josh Holober-Ward, that I had never played Dungeons and Dragon, but I had always wanted to.

January 22, 2017, I had my first D&D experience.

Along with (MORE) ComedySportz Players/Friends: Emily Davis (#27), Kristin Finger (#7), Kevin Pettit (#25) and Alli Soowal (#36).
*I have included ALL of their numbers in case you wanted to play the lottery or something...mine is #9.

WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SEAN GUNN AND HIS HAIR?!?

Hold on...I'm getting to it.

So our D&D campaign continued for quite a while. Some people came and some people went. But we continued to meet, semi-regularly.

Then, on June 3, 2017, something magical happened...

We were asked, by our friend Mike Gregorek (ComedySportz NYC player), to PERFORM a D&D style Improv Show at Wizard World in Philadelphia!

Shaun and I had performed the year before at Wizard World as part of ComedySportz, in a rare 1 on 1 match. It was probably my favorite ComedySportz moment from 2016.

We'd be performing as ComedySportz again (or as NERDPROV) this year...

But before we donned the Blue & Red jerseys, we'd be dressed in all black for the origin of "Roll Play."

Our D&D journey was just beginning. With Shaun and Sarah LeClair added into the mix:

(Have you won the lottery yet?)

SEAN GUNN!!!


It's coming! Jeez!

So we performed "Roll Play: An Improvised Adventure" (though that name would come later). The crowd LOVED it! So much so, people ditched the Michael Rooker panel to come see us. Or Michael Rooker's panel was sold out and people had no other option...either way, it was terrific!

We've waited long enough. Now, tell us about SEAN GUNN's FUCKING HAIR!!!

Ok.

So after Roll Play and after ComedySportz, most people went home. Shaun, Kristin and I decided to go back out on the floor which was closing in about 20 minutes.

Suffice to say, there was almost NO ONE there.

The Fans and many of the vendors had packed it in for the day.

Sean Gunn was still there however, and Shaun thought it would be cool to get a photo with him for his Dad for Father's Day (The Kreider's are Gilmore Girls fans...that's not a judgement merely a statement of fact).

Now it should be mentioned, that me, a balding man, am jealous of Shaun Kreider's hair. And Shaun loves to point this out. So as we walk up to Sean Gunn to get a photo (yes we paid and followed all the rules), I decide to take a shot at my buddy and say, "Hey Shaun, finally someone with nicer hair than you."

They took this great photo:

While Shaun was looking at the photo I took on his camera, I shook hands with Sean and told him I LOVED Guardians of the Galaxy 2 which I had seen back in April. While shaking my hand, he kind of ignored me and then walked away.

I immediately became pissed! My buddy had just shelled out a decent amount of money to get this photo, and we were all the sudden being ghosted?!?

As we walked away I looked back and saw Sean Gunn was staring daggers at me. WHAT THE HELL???

I realized it was the end of the day and he'd seen a lot of people, but I had been there all day too and had performed two shows!!!

I was just as tired, man!

Also, I rule the Seven Kingdoms, bro!

Or I guess Kristin does. But I digress...

So I let it go, because Shaun was so happy and I didn't want to ruin his moment.

I was seething while driving home.

I trashed Sean Gunn to my friends Jimmy and Petra who we had over for dinner that night.

I was still annoyed while going to bed.

The next morning, in the shower I replayed the event in my head forwards and backwards. Why was Sean Gunn a dick to me?

Then, while playing it forward again, my mind's eye caught this line:

"Hey Sean, finally someone with nicer hair than you."

I immediately thought, "er...Shaun, not Sean..."


OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Sean Gunn thought I was being a dickhole right to his face...and I WAS, though I meant to be a dickhole to Shaun's face.

Fuck.

How could I right this wrong?

My daughter and I were going back to Comic Con for the last day so she could meet some of the Disney Princess...okay Harley Quinn:

Yes Kit was shy until Harley said, "Wanna hold my bat?"
It was a nightmare getting the bat back from Kit.

While we were there I saw Sean Gunn taking photos at his booth.

I thought, I should go over and apologize. Then I thought, will he even remember? So instead Kit and I went and said "Hello" to Rider Strong, who was awesome and we got waved to by Kristy Swanson (the original Buffy) because kids are adorable!

In the end, I did NOT apologize to Sean Gunn. I did however tell Jimmy & Petra that I was terribly wrong and they laughed in my face.

Maybe someday I'll work with Sean Gunn and I'll tell him this story and he'll laugh. Or maybe he'll remember and have me removed from the set.

Sorry Sean. You have terrific hair!

Halloween Costumes for 2016

Having problems coming up with a costume idea for 2016? REALLY?!? A shit ton of things happened this year!

If you're like me, you can't just throw any old thing on for Halloween. You want to be topical. You want to be clever. You want to be original.

But, as I have pointed out in previous years - topical, clever, and original need NOT go hand in hand with obscene:

2010

and

2014

So right off the bat let's eliminate some things from 2016 that the T.C.O. goals we have for a Halloween Party.

#1 - Anything involving Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, or even Bernie Sanders

The Politician to Harley Quinn ratio at parties this Halloween will be off the chart. So let's agree to skip them altogether - the politicians. I am TOTALLY fine with everyone dressing up like Harley Quinn!

"But I've already printed out 33,000 emails for my Hillary costume!"
Of course you have. That's not clever. And you've killed an entire forest, you asshole.

"Oh! What if I do the Hillary mask AND a prison jumpsuit? Original right?"
Sure...you'll be the life of Mike Huckabee's Halloween party.

Come on! Don't try to recycle last year's Orange is the New Black costume, just because you still haven't put it away yet.

"Devil horns?"
Fuck off!

Prediction: a Janet Jackson/Hillary Clinton "Nasty" mashup. You'll see it. In fact you'll probably see two. So much for original.

"Surely it's OK if I dress up like Donald J. Trump, right?"

No.

"How about "sexy" Trump?"
What is wrong with YOU?!?

Look! Even Trump doesn't want to look like Trump this Halloween. He'll be wearing a costume just like everyone else. Based on this photo from his private dressing room, it appears he'll be going as a ghost:

And before you go ordering your "sexy" Kenneth Bone costume from Zandy.com for $99.99, remember last minute crazes like this are almost ALWAYS a bust.

Everyone who waited until the last minute will jump on whatever is hot a week before Halloween. This explains why you have that Charlie Sheen mask sitting next to your Orange is the New Black costume you still haven't put away.

Seriously! Spring Cleaning! Look into it!

#2 - Anything Political

Sure Trump & Hillary cover just about everything political right now, but keep in mind many other political figures have made the headlines this year.

Whether you decide to dress as Ben Carson and wait in the hallway to the party all night, or as Gary Johnson and not get invited at all, it's probably best to keep your political costumes on the side line this year.

Even mashup costumes, like Lost "Cosplaying" Antonin Scalia are probably a no go until things settle a bit politically.

That said, if you've got your heard set on that Marco Rubio Rubix Cube idea, who am I to judge?

#3 - This is a good time to bring up DEAD CELEBRITIES!

Look, I know as soon as you heard David Bowie died, you freak out and thought, "WHAT A GREAT HALLOWEEN COSTUME!" Only to amend that idea as soon as you heard Prince died.
(Apologies if you are just hearing this news now...)

2016 was a rough year for celebrity deaths. Which is why you're likely to see Snape, Hans Gruber, and the Sheriff of Knottingham all fighting over the crudités at this year's party. By Grabthar's hammer! Alexander Danes gets first dibs!

(I'll give you a second to Google that...all done? Great.)

"But I'm the world's biggest Gene Wilder fan! I need to honor his career!"
Really? Look, you know Willy Wonka and Young Frankenstein. You also know he was in some comedies with Richard Pryor, but you can't tell the difference between Stir Crazy and Silver Streak, so let's not get crazy with "world's biggest fan."
But, I'm not unreasonable. If you must dress up as a Gene Wilder character, you can be Eugene Grizzard.

"Who's Eugene Grizzard?"
Exactly! You're NOT the world's biggest Gene Wilder fan!

#4 - Zombie Harambe

Yes, we all know what happened to Harambe, and it was terrible. Adding "zombie" in front of his name won't bring him back even if it does have a kind of nice sound to it.

And yes, Harambe technically falls into the dead celebrity category. He's been Googled more times this year than Nicolas Cage, and Nicolas Cage is still alive...presumably (I didn't check).

Editor's Note: Zombie Harambe is a bad idea for a Halloween costume, but a catchy title to a novelty song. Perhaps to the music of the Cranberries?

#5 - El Chapo

El No-No!

#6 - Brex-It

I'm not up on as much of the news as I should be, so I'm not exactly sure what this is. I assume it's a breakfast eating Pennywise the clown from Stephen King's, "It":

While clowns are HOT this year, they are also likely to get you shot while driving to the party.

#7 - Olympic Gold Medalist Ryan Lochte

Let's not forget, before he bleached his hair and then saw it turn green, or got drunk and beat the crap out of a poor, defenseless bathroom (who's wall he urinated on), this was that same gold medalist:

Awwww...he thinks it's food.

You can do better. We can ALL do better. Much, MUCH better.

#8 - A POKEMON Jim?

I don't know what that is...maybe this guy?

************************************************

Look, based on everything going on around the world right now it's probably best if none of us tries to reach too high and be clever or original.

Maybe we should all just agree to wear the same costume so as to not cause any fights or ruffle any feathers.

If so, I vote for this one: