Friday, June 13, 2014

From Westeros to The White House

Politics are becoming more and more contentious, though seemingly less and less popular with younger people. How can we educate today’s youth on the major players in the game of politics, so they’ll be able to vote in the 2016 Presidential election?

Of course…

Former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (New York)
Political Site:

Her husband was once the most powerful man in the land. His downfall would be over his love of “the hunt.” Proverbially gored by a pig (sorry Monica).

Watch out Republicans, “A Clinton Always Pays Their Debt.”

Vice President Joe Biden (Delaware)
Political Site:
Government Site: Office of Vice President Joe Biden

Fun & Loveable, but he’s not going to be standing alone on the Wall. He has “taken out” a white walker, which might be a reference to riding trains.

He is a great protector of Gilly (America) and her baby (Delaware…or is it Maryland? – SPOILER!)

Governor Andrew Cuomo (New York)

Following in the footsteps of his great father, he is the presumptive King of the North. However, he is currently mired down with budgetary issues incurred by this past year’s heavy snowfalls. He better get that figured out ASAP, after all WINTER IS COMING!

Also, he’d do well to stay away from weddings.

Former Governor Howard Dean (Vermont)
PAC Site: 
Democracy for America 

Not in a million years, buddy. But he is fun to watch.

US Senator Bernie Sanders (Independent-Vermont)
Political Site:
Government Site: 
Office of US Senator Bernie Sanders
Facebook (Campaign):
Facebook (Official):

I don’t know who this is…

Meanwhile…outside of King’s Landing…

Former Governor Jeb Bush (Florida)

Just because your brother sat on the throne, doesn’t mean you get too. Also, a lot of people still contest the throne was stolen. We all remember in 2000 when the Battle of the Trident took place in Florida.

Plus he’s got the whole Red Queen, Terri Schiavo thing hanging over his head. I make the comparison as it’s a HOT issue that will still likely fuck him.

US Senator Ted Cruz (Texas)

He seems to say ALL the wrong things at all the right times.

I’m not saying he’d sell his sister into slavery, but he would look good in a "golden crown".

Governor Chris Christie (New Jersey)

He keeps himself very insulated and was able to navigate through that whole bridge debacle with his balls intact...oh wait.

Then we’re strictly going belt size on this one.  

Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee (Florida)

Where the FUCK have you been?

Governor Rick Perry (Texas)

I think he means well, but is a bit out of touch. His world view is very limited.

Also, he's killed A LOT of people!

Former Massachusets Governor Mitt Romney (California)

You still here? Hmmm...

US Senator Rand Paul (Kentucky)

Seriously, pop a mustache on him and you’re done.
I think he started off with the right intentions, but was pulled in by the political machine that…er…hold on…yep, sorry, this is his character from The Wire.

Little Finger is a down right asshole.

Former US Senator Rick Santorum (Pennsylvania)

Enough said.

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