Tuesday, February 10, 2015

You Can't Have Your Cake & Eat It Too


LOVE them!

Since meeting my wife and starting to date in 1999, we have been to over 50 weddings together! That's a lot of cake I have eaten over the past 16 years. BUT, even more impressive, is that of those 50+ weddings, only 3 have ended in divorce. And two of those couples are still very friendly. Those are Hall of Fame like stats. You're welcome romance!

I am 100% pro marriage equality. I honestly can't see why anyone would stand in opposition to it. If you're a fan of the "free market" it would open up job opportunities for wedding planners, florists, cake makers, limo drivers, photographers, videographers, catering staff, dress makers, seamstresses, tux rental outlets, bartenders...the list goes on and on.

"I don't want to make a gay cake."

Is it because of the 6 different layers? If you're not up to the challenge, perhaps you recommend cupcakes to the happy couple, instead. 

"I don't recognize 'same sex marriage'."
This always puzzles me. How do you not recognize it? Is "same sex marriage" always dressed in disguise. 

As I write this, Alabama has become the 37th state to recognize same sex marriage. Even though Chief Justice Roy S. Moore of the Alabama Supreme Court has ordered judges NOT to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

This guy fucking HATES gay cupcakes. Maybe he's a diabetic with minimal self control.

After all, that's what this issue seems to boil down to. The fear of gorging yourself on gay wedding cake or lezzie cupcakes? YOU might be tempted, so everyone else suffers. We all know that old adage, "A moment on the lips, a lifetime having gay sex."

So all of you lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people who's marriages are being blocked, you really brought this on yourselves, by having such tasty and delicious desserts. 

For now, we'll just keep the traditional marriage between a man and a woman...who wants to exploit the man (who happens to be a psychopathic murderer and cult leader) by marrying him with the intention of displaying his dead body for profit once he's finally "kicked it."

(EDITOR: You guys totally got that Chief Justice Roy S. Moore wants to eat cock, right?)

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