Thursday, October 16, 2014

A "Well" Regulated Militia

Cinderella's Wishing Well can be found in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World in Orlando, FL. 

"A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."


I FIGURED IT OUT! 

Perhaps the language our forefathers used in crafting the often disputed 2nd amendment to our Constitution, is actually in riddle form. We have taken "a well regulated militia," to mean "a militia who is regulated in a manner we consider 'well'." However WHO, or more to the point WHAT, is doing said "regulating?"

I submit, that the regulation is to be done BY an actual well...a wishing well to be specific. 


"I wish that my kids could go to school without fear of being shot."
-A concerned parent with a "3 Day Disney" pass.

So everyone head over to Priceline to book your Disney trip and save your children's lives!

SHIT!

Guess what guys? There's a loophole. 
The Disney GUN loophole.

Donald about to blow off Chip & Dale's nuts.
For about 90 years starting in 1905 a small arms manufacturer (mostly hand guns and sub-machineguns) named Star Bonifacio Echeverria, S.A. was in operation in the Basque region of Spain.

"Star guns," as they were known, produced handguns similar in style to the Colt with a slide similar to that of the Italian Beretta.

Just looking at this photo made my penis grow a 1/4 inch longer.

So far, your wish is safe and secure...unless:

The little green dude will start singing after the other little green dude in the Geico Commercial...

When you wish upon a star,
Makes no difference who you are.
Anything your heart desires,
Will come to you.

FUCK DISNEY...WHY?!?

"I'll give you my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead cryonically frozen hands"
-W.Disney
Basically, this means, that YES you can wish for your child, or anyone else to be safe from a violent death due to guns...BUT someone else can come along and counteract that "wish" by making their own wish to actually shoot you.

This leads back to the argument of Wayne LaPierre, executive vice president of the National Rifle Association, "The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun."


The only problem is, how do you know if the person you are shooting is a "bad guy," or just Grumpy.

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