So, apparently there is a controversy brewing on the internet. It's been bubbling over for quite some time. No I'm not talking about Syria. But more importantly the song "Blurred Lines" from this guy's son:
I know! I'm shocked it's Alan Thicke's REAL son we are talking about. And not his "phony" son who produced that fantastic superhero franchise that features people flying!
There are two versions of the video for the song. One that's not only NSFW ("Not Safe For Work"), but NSFTCSOYM ("Not Safe For The Continuing Sanctity Of Your Marriage").
This guy agrees:
For anyone who has missed it, here is the "tamed down" version of the video:
Or you can watch this one if you dare:
So here's the thing: Does the video objectify women? Yes. Does EVERY video objectify women? Pretty Much. Should we put a stop to it? Probably, but maybe we should be more outraged that women are still only paid .80 cents on the dollar for the work they do compared to men and they don't get paid leave for pregnancy in the US.
(CUTE FACT: Syrian women get 50 days paid leave...though they also get napalmed to the fucking face, so I guess it's not the best trade off)
So what kind of WOMAN hating man directed this deplorable video that views women this way?
Wait...What? Diane Martel is a chick? I thought it was a French name or something.
OK. So I guess this choreographer turned director is a self loathing piece of trash who has sold out the Ya Yas for filthy lucre. Let's see some of her past hateful filled work:
OK. This doesn't really help my argument. I mean, I need something gross and disgusting that shows her true colors:
Right, but this one more objectifies Bulls. Also, I must point out, no bulls were hurt in the making of this video. And bull fighting is gross and pointless and inhumane (Kevin steps off SOAPBOX).
BUT COME ON! I want a video that makes the bile rise up from my stomach and can be used as proof positive that Diane Martel hates women and has shit on all of their struggles to be accepted and taken seriously in, not just the work force, but society itself:
OK. Maybe it's not simply the video and it's objectification of women, which Thicke fully admits to by the way:
"We tried to do everything that was taboo. Bestiality, drug injections, and everything that is completely derogatory towards women. Because all three of us are happily married with children, we were like, 'We're the perfect guys to make fun of this.'
OK. Hold on a second. I get it. Now I see the problem. Robin Thicke is Canadian! So there you have it. After all, here is EVERYTHING he sees as taboo:
1. Bestiality. I agree. At least Martel didn't have Jack White give a "handy" to the bull in the video (might have been in the directors cut)
2. Drug Injection. Not "drug use" mine you, just injection. Pop, snort, smoke, ingest anything you want, but don't be injecting shit!
3. And everything that is completely derogatory towards women. So you mean like Chris Brown's work?
So maybe it's the content of the song itself that is the problem.
Tricia Romano refers to the song as "Kind of Rapey." Talk about your "blurred lines." It's either "Rapey" or it isn't. You can find Romano's full argument here:
Full disclosure - I like this song. And I hate rape. Does that make me a hypocrite? I listened to the song over and over again to determine if I am missing some hidden message in the song figuring maybe it'll be like in the 80s when I allowed my brother's friend to "backmask" my Dire Straits "Brother's In Arms" cassette. HOLY SHIT, I couldn't sleep for a week!
So it was somewhere around my 69th listening (I know, don't hate the player) that it hit me! This song isn't about forcing unwanted sex on a woman...it's about a guy who is debating having sex with a pre-op transgendered individual.
Don't believe me? I'll explain, with the help from the song's own lyrics.
My observations are in RED.
"EVERYBODY get up." Clearly "get up" means to "pop a boner." Alas, a lady can NOT do this. Except maybe this chick: "Maybe I'm going deaf, Maybe I'm going blind" This seems like he knows something is UP ("Everybody get up") But he's going to pretend he's "deaf and blind" to it. So right off the bat, he's fairly certain that he's "making time" with a fella.
This is the singers way of saying, "Whatever floats your boat, friend! I'm Down! (presumably to fuck)"
Why has no one pointed out that the first time he sings "I know you want it," it's in a higher register? And then the second time it's really deep. He's saying I know you want to have sex and concurrently, I know, you are in fact, a dude.
"You're far from plastic." Possibly a reference to the REAL thing this "good girl" is sporting between her (his) legs.
Pharell reconfirms, that it's cool for this "good girl" to get a boner.
You clever scamp! Although, easy with the Bobby Brown lines. "Fuck me" does not rhyme with "Hug me."
"Don't need no papers" might even be a social commentary on the fact that same sex marriage is not legal in all fifty states yet. When you get down to it, this song is pretty goddman progressive! No wonder it's a hotbed of controversy.
Let's see where it goes next, shall we?
"Can't let it get past me." He's saying, "Look. I know you got a dick. I got a dick. We all got dicks. Let's just make our dicks get all 'blasted' and such."
"I hate them lines." Am I right? It's 2014 (is it? I should look into that) and dude love has been around forever. Constantine was into dudes. Also Christians, he picked the books in your Bible, so...."Everybody get up!"
So far this checks out. "Look, I'm not quite ready to be a 'bottom.' Let's see what happens."
Presumably, that was not a reference to Carmen Miranda.
"Cause you ain't got a vagina!" Yet. It's a 12 month layaway payment plan. Call now and we'll throw in another vagina free of charge. You just pay for shipping and handling.
"Swag on" reminds me of "Swing Heil" from the movie, Swing Kids. That movie was great. Also, I don't think it's a coincidence the kid's name is "Peter." You know, like a dick.
I have no fucking clue what this means. Honestly, I might be about rape which would total fuck everything I have already written. Let's do what the US Military does when faced with the possibility of rape, move on and ignore it.
Salute = boner.
Check and mate!
This is where he switches to being the "bottom." It hurts because he's new at this. He also makes small talk to make things less awkward by asking about his pre-op buddy's job.
I think they are trying on cologne.
Lot's of boners.
Let's just call it what it is: One and a Half Men. Charlie Sheen is gone. Which means the previous Charlie Sheen reference makes more sense.
So wanna meet my Mom?
And there you have it.
So truthfully, it's a song about a modern, consensual, same (or similar) sex relationship. I think Alan Thicke's son is actually using this song, which has sold over 5 million copies in the US alone, to breakdown barriers in excepting all people for who they are.
Not this one:
He's fucking asshole.