Friday, May 18, 2012

LOST: Journal & Free Pretzels

So my computer crashed.  Not my glorious Mac at home.  But my shitty PC at work.  Seriously with the PC’s!  I lost EVERYTHING!  Not my work stuff, as that’s saved on a network.  But everything on my desktop, which includes (but is not limited to) my journal. 

A guy who keeps a journal?  Yeah.  I have a shitty memory.  So sue me.

Here we are May 18th and I lost EVERYTHING I did since December 31st 2011.  It’s like I’ve done nothing at all!  “Hey Kevin, remember when we…”  Nope.  But I’ll you’re your word for it.  There is something freeing about “living forward.”  However it still leaves me with a shitty memory (I had future plans written on the journal).  So now I’m certain to miss a few things - apologies in advance.

Now, I’m debating starting a new journal.  Maybe I should revive the art of long hand.  I used to write one that I stopped just about the time I got married (10 years ago in two weeks).  One of my last writings was in the Florida Keys.  Next week, Julie & I will be in Aruba for our anniversary.  I still have the same journal.  Maybe I’ll just start it back up as if nothing happened.  Someday my kids will read it and ask, Dad, what did you do for 10 years?”  I’ll be able to look them in the eyes and say “I honestly don’t remember.”

As stated above, I also used the journal as a calendar to schedule things.  Like going to the beach which I haven’t done in two years – yes I was on a beach for about 30 minutes last summer when Kerry came along and made us leave (she’s not invited to Aruba).  There are other things too; important things on that calendar.  “Like what,” you ask?  I DON’T KNOW!  I CAN’T REMEMBER. 

This is a lesson for me.  Not to back up my computer – although I had to completely redo my resume because of the loss (can’t continue working for a company that has such shitty computers) – but to stretch out my memory a little bit more.  Maybe I have too many crutches.  Maybe these little things are contributing to my terrible memory.  I could do a little experiment and go without calendars and journals and such for a few weeks…but my fear is I’ll forget it’s an experiment and just keep living an uninformed life.

To make matters worse, my work place discontinued “Free Pretzel Friday.”  That’s a bummer.  It was one of my favorite vices for the week.  I’m hoping that my two problems cancel each other out and in about two weeks time, I completely have forgotten about the “Free Pretzels.”

Wait, what was I saying?

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