I have been bless with a quick wit, but cursed with a terrible memory. Which means I’ll never remember the clever (or as my wife calls them “mean”) things attributed to me (“You told that AIDS joke last week”). I have a Swiss cheese memory that seems to be getting worse as I get older. My dear friend Gordon Wood Holmes III (I can remember his whole name) is cursed with the same affliction. We have joked that Gordon only has 5 stories he tells in rotation, because he doesn’t remember telling them. But what’s fascinating is he never misses a detail from those stories!
I forget the details. Quickly.
When people tell stories dating back only 3 or 4 years, that I was supposedly present for, I seriously wonder if they are completely making things up ("We sank a boat?").
Here we are starting 2011 and I couldn’t give you a top 10 moments that go back much further than October…maybe some EXTREME highlights from the summer, but virtually nothing from the Spring.
“Maybe I should keep a journal.”
I quickly dismissed this thought for many reasons, but mostly because I already have this blog. Unfortunately a blog is seldom a journal. People use them to talk politics, to rail about the clothes a celebrity wore to an awards show they shouldn't have been at in the first place or track everything they've eaten with the intent of cultivating a healthy diet and perhaps healthier discussion.
I have always used this blog to make fun of things...anything. But can I use it to record the mundane crap that goes on in my life?
Do you really want to know that yesterday I picked up a karaoke machine from Kerry’s basement which she told me has probably sat in flood waters for the past 2 years? That I got lost on tiny Marsh Rd while driving said water logged karaoke machine to Steve (GGTK)’s house (“I think you just drove by my house”)? That Steve and I discussed Kerryoke Five until about 10ish over shots of Danny Devito’s limoncello while Pam took down their Christmas Tree? That I realized I had a bag of Salt & Vinager potato ships in my trunk when I took the karaoke mahcine out, and ate them as a drove home to make my signature salad with vegetarian chicken? That I realized we were out of the hot sauce for the chicken, so I tried a habanera sauce that made the whole meal taste like paint thinner? That I ended up starting over from scratch? That Julie and I watch Sophia Coppala’s new film “Somewhere” starring Stephen Dorff which I aquired under less than "proper" means? Or that after the movie ended I tried to convince Julie to go upstairs to sleep, multiple times, only to wake her up on the couch this morning at 7am as she was late for work?
Is this the sort of stuff you would like to read about?
Well, get used to it.
I figure I have 3 or 4 people that read this blog about as consistently as I write it. Which is tough because how do I write "mean" things about them?
My hope is to write a bit more consistently in 2011. Sometimes about stuff that is hilariously funny. Sometimes about stuff that is horrifically boring. I'll leave it up to you to decide which is which.
OK. Now I’ll go get gas. Because my needle was on “E” this morning but I refused to stop at BP for fear that the recent dead birds & fish are their doing…