Monday, November 5, 2007

Fatassed Stocking Stuffer!

Santa is being told to shift the pounds before Christmas - because the obese saint is failing to set a "good example" for children.
The traditional children's hero, best known for feasting on mince pies left out on Christmas eve, has always sported a bulging midriff.
But shopping centre bosses are giving the well-wisher his marching orders - to the nearest gym - to tackle the increasing problem of obesity.
The revelation comes after a medical report earlier this month stated that by 2050 more than 50 per cent of Brits will be obese.
Bluewater shopping centre in Greenhithe, Kent, has even gone one step further and set-up a Santa boot camp.
Fiona Campbell-Reilly, spokeswoman at the shopping centre, said: "Santa has been around for years, but society has changed and our Santa needs to reflect this.
"Bluewater's Santa Boot Camp is getting Santa in shape and setting a good example to children who idolize him.
"He will still be the same lovable jolly man, but will be fitter and healthier."
Despite Santa burning 600 calories an hour from delivering presents, the problem lies in the tasty mince pies left as a treat.
If he ate every single mince pie left for him by eager children in the UK he would gain an astonishing 721,000 lbs.
Dr Charmaine Griffiths, spokesperson from the British Heart Foundation, said: "The bootcamp would encourage people to get a bit more active - it is a great idea.
"If you are budding Santa or a hopeful elf, then we should all be taking steps to being fit and healthier at Christmas.
"Half an hour of exercise, three days a week could make your heart healthier. I think that like most of us, Santa could be doing more to make himself that little bit fitter.
"He can have a pie every so often but try to squeeze in a few carrots as well."
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Mandating what our imaginary character's can and can't do?

Whatever, just as long at the ToothFairy can't get married, I'm happy.

Santa is a the original fatassed stocking stuffer...I started Xmas shopping today. I hope I have enough time to get it all done.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I read this story while furiously stuffing two fun size candy bars in my face.

Thanks for posting! (see I appreciate it!)

Vic

OLED said...
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