Before we go any further, it's imperative that you watch the scene.
CLICK HERE TO DO SO!
I have seen Superman 2 at least a couple dozen times. Yet, there is SO much that happens in this scene, that I am still just discovering things 29 years after its release. Things such as the fact that it actually came out 39 years ago! What the Hell?!?
First off, the scene in question seems to take place on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. I find this to be a bold choice for a guy who allegedly stands for "Truth, Justice, and the American Way."
But this one man show isn't ABOOT that.
Second, what's with the olive green and pink combo Lois is sporting? I know this was 39 years ago, but MAN! could you be any more stereo typical 80s?
This scene lives within the subtle moments. Sure it's great that Clark, to distract Lois from figuring out that he is Superman (because she cleaned his glasses), runs over to save the little kid standing on the railing. The best part is when his mother hits the kid immediately afterwards blaming him for embarrassing her, "here in front of everybody."
It's a nice companion piece for when Superman, in the first movie, saves the little girl's cat stuck in the tree. This results in her mother smacking her for "lying." Apparently Superman is an equal opportunist when it comes to kids catching a beating.
(*Also, he should have slapped the girl's mother for letting her kid name the cat "Frisky.")
It seems as though Lois completely missed that this kid was standing on the railing. As a world class reporter you figure she would have noticed something like that. Not only does she not notice it, but when Clark brings it up, she decides she's hungry and ignores the possible lead.
We immediately see the kid back at the rail. By "we" I mean the audience, because Lois still doesn't see a goddamn thing. And his mother could give a shit.
To amp it up, the kid is now on the Falls side of the rail!
He says "Hey Ma, look!"
To which his mother says without looking, while eating what appears to be cotton candy, "Uh-huh. Yeah honey, that's nice."
Great parenting. Somethings haven't changed since 1980.
Here's the thing: The kid is the same kid as before, BUT I'm 90% sure that the actor playing the mother is NOT the same actor from seconds earlier! Yes, she's wearing the same shirt, but her hair color AND face look completely different!!!
Did she get fired in between shots? This film crew means business!
Also, the man she's with (presumably the boy's father) is looking at a map, which is helping distract her. WHAT MAP?!? Like, why would you need a map at Niagara Falls? Is there REALLY anywhere else you can go?!?
Lois then takes a picture in the vicinity of where the kid is endangering himself. Perhaps she's taking a photo of him, though it looks like she's taking a picture passed him...of random people I suppose. Which would mean Lois is kind of a creep. BUT AGAIN, she sees this kid is goofing around and SAYS NOTHING!
Lois Lane hates kids. Or at least this particular one.
Then, as the kid is falling, Lois screams "Help!"
To be fair, she says "Oh my God," and then screams "Help." However, her lips seems to say something closer to "Holy Crap" instead of "Oh my God."
Now, let's be honest, it's too fucking late. Unless you're calling for someone to fish out the body, what's the point in yelling "Help!" Superman. That's the point...but wait...
Once Lois yells help, the parents run to the rail realizing it's their kid whom such misfortune has befallen. But NOT before the mother EATS ANOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF COTTON CANDY?!? WTF!!! You can see it at 2:31 in the clip posted above.
Also, I get the concept of "suspension of disbelief" and all, but this kid falls for 23 second before Superman catches him!
23 SECONDS!!!
I did some quick Google Sleuthing (Is that a term? Should be), and found that it takes approximately 2.5 seconds to fall 100 feet. Niagara Falls, at its tallest point, is 176 feet. Meaning that by the time Supes shows up, that kid has, at the very least, been soaked for about 19 seconds. And probably dead for at least half that amount of time.
Hell, Clark doesn't even make his move to change into Superman for 10 full seconds!!!
Please note: Fantastic Falling dummy at the 2:40 mark!
The absolute best part of all, is ALL of the commentary by the crowd. They all have some little things to say including:
"Do something!"
"It's Superman!"
"What a nice man!"
and
"Of course he's Jewish."
What's that now?
Yes, there's some older sounding woman who comments, "Of course he's Jewish."
I realize the link I posted above is shaky and may very well have been filming a TV in someone's Rec Room, where their old Jewish grandmother lent her own commentary to the scene. Therefore, I have ANOTHER source of said scene right: HERE.
Yep. It's in there. This made me so happy!
After that nice Jewish superhero saves the kid (again), his mother once again yells at him. Pulling at his arm she says, "You're going to get it!" Another beating no doubt.
Also, I'm fairly certain it's back to the original Mom!
The scene cuts off, but if it were to continue, we'd see Lois piece together the fact that Superman and Clark are never in the same place at the same time.
You'd also get to see Clark Kent steal hot dogs. Yeah, I know, he leaves some change. But, even in 1980 dollars, a few shekels ain't enough for 2 hot dogs!
And why isn't anyone working at the hot dog place?!? I know that the excitement of Superman having just been there was in the air, but when Clark walks back to Lois, everything is back to normal!
Like people don't give a fuck that Superman just saved an ungrateful kid's goddamn life!
So what, did the hot dog vendors up and quit? Did they too jump over the railing in hopes that Superman would save them?
When the kid says "Again, again," Superman does say, "Sorry, only one ride per customer." Did the vendors take him up on the offer? AND, more importantly, did he fall down on the job?!?
Clearly there are a lot more things to discuss, which is why this really calls for a One Man Show...
...or maybe a Podcast. A Podcast completely devoted to a single four minute scene. Hmmmm....
