Performing and teaching improv has (almost) cured my stage fright...which, in high school, was damn near crippling. I have been a member of ComedySportz Philadelphia for the past 12 years. I have been teaching improv for the past 7 years. I freaking love it!
Through this sometimes maligned art form, I have grown to realize my fear was never "looking stupid on stage." As a comedian or entertainer or just a damn fool, that's kind of part and parcel to making people laugh. In fact, my low-rent super power is to convert people laughing at me into people laughing with me. Obviously a defense mechanism (also going back to high school). I've learned that much of my fear came from letting down those around me. My cast mates or fellow performers. If I drop a cue line, how does that affect their performance? THAT had long been my fear of stepping on stage in a scripted format. With Improv, there are no cue lines. There is no script. You accept ("yes"), you amplify ("and"), and you continue to tell the story...together.
But how do you take what you learn from improv and insert it into a scripted performance? By learning how to forgive yourself in the moment.
Last weekend, as we opened Assassins at City Theater in Wilmington Delaware, I new I was as prepared as I could possibly have been. I knew the script forward and backwards. The scenes. Two monologues. The songs. BUT, as sometimes can happen in a live setting, I slipped up. I transposed a line in a song... which happened to be a huge cue line for the rest of the cast. Collectively they salvaged my mistake, but I was so disappointed in myself. THIS is the FEAR come to life!
But then I said, "fuck it." I could sit there and let it eat at me for the rest of that performance, which will undoubtedly kill the mood every time I walk on stage, or I can do what I've learned from Jason Stockdale, Dave Jadico, Alli Soowal, Mary Carpenter, Kristin Finger, Don Montrey, Emily Davis, Darryl Charles, Sue Taney, Jon Colby, Steve Roney, Jim Burns, and a myriad of other teachers I've study with over the years and simply say "I forgive myself" and move on.
I'm not going to tell you it's easy. It's not! Quite the contrary. It takes a shitload of practice! But, since I fuck up a lot, and I'm old, I have to be damn close to my 10,000 hours needed to master it.
It works on as well as off the stage: Forgot to make the coffee, I forgive myself. Ran out of time before mowing the lawn, I forgive myself. Haven't showered in 3 days, I forgive myself...though those around you mind take exception.
The day after my error, I was back on stage in another performance. To alleviate it happening again, I was laboring over that part of the song. Jim Burns, who I have worked with on shorts, web series, improv shows, and various stage performances was helping me. After working it for a bit bit he finally said, "Okay. Don't over do it, or it becomes a thing." That advice greatly complimented the "I forgive myself" philosophy.
When that moment in the song came up, I concentrated on the words, but let go and didn't over complicate it. Everything went completely fine.
Forgive yourself. Also, if you can. get a Jim Burns in your life!
