House of Glass(es) - How To Choose A Speaker of the House in 2023

Yesterday should have seen the swearing in of the 118th United States Congress.

This happened for the Democratic run Senate, but the Republican lead House of Representatives found itself in chaos. Rep. Kevin McCarthy of California, who has long positioned himself for the Speaker of the House position, saw his dreams slip through his fingers as he failed to gain the 218 votes needed to win the Speakership. In fact, he failed three times! 

This has not happened in over 100 years!

BUT, most people don't know, there are many weird and archaic rules that govern the government! The House of Representatives might have some of the weirdest!

As Rep. Matt Gaetz from Florida waged his war on Kevin McCarthy, some bizarre rules started to come to light. One of the strangest is as follows:

Rule 72 (9-c): pursuant with House rules, if a speakership cannot be decided after three continuous votes, the first member of the sitting body who eats their own glasses shall take up the title.

Apparently, many of the "would be" participants heard about this rule last evening, as they all jockeyed for position.

Being cheered on by some supporters, Kevin McCarthy started going to town on his reading glasses.

Rep. Steve Scalise from Louisiana, who many believe will end up being the Speaker of the House, said in a statement, "The only glasses I am interested in, are the commemorative drinking glasses for Puss in Boots, available at participating Popeyes® Louisiana Kitchen and the drinking glasses for Avatar: The Way of the Water available for a limited time at Chick-fil-A."

Rep. Jim Jordan from OH, who pretended he wasn't interested in the Speaker role, tried to eat his glasses right off his face without anyone noticing. He failed on both attempts.

Rep. Jim Banks from Indiana was seen eating his monocle which was mistaken for the statement "Eat the Rich." As such, he was immediately disqualified and removed from the Republican Party.

Rep. Andy Biggs from Arizona thought it would be funny to eat a pair of oversized clown glasses. However, none of his oversized clown colleagues were laughing. Also, his eyes were bigger than his stomach. 

Rep. Lauren Boebert from Colorado (not sure which planet), didn't understand the assignment. Instead she ate a Hearing Aid. Luckily, an Executive Order on Promoting Competition in the American Economy by President Biden, saw this hearing aid available over the counter, without a prescription. At least SOMEONE is still governing for the people.  

And of course, not to be out flanked by his cohorts when TV cameras are around, Matt Gaetz also attempted to eat a pair of glasses. However, his pair belonged to a minor who he had been sending money to for "things," which apparently isn't against the law, but it also didn't gain him the speakership.

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It's fucking insane that one of these assholes will likely be two heartbeats away from the Presidency. 
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By the way, if you were wondering if this practice has ever been used before to determine the Speaker of the house, the answer is yes! But that speaker had the decency to cover her mouth.

A Happy New Year's Day at Hershey Park

On New Year's Day we went to Hershey Park as a family. It's the last day the park is opened until April...unrelated, it's 62 degrees today!

While Julie, Kit, and I stood in the long line to purchase our tickets (I know, we didn't buy them online) a park employee approached and asked the line, "Who here is just buying tickets?"

My assumption was that everyone in line was. But like a proper grade schooler, I raised my hand. She then waved her hand to me and a woman stepped out from behind her, with her daughter in toe. That young girl was about Kit's age.

"We have these three tickets we'd like to give you," she said to us. WAIT! WHAT?!?

Her son is a Hershey Park employee and he had three remaining complimentary tickets that would expire at the end of the day. This kind woman: Got dressed, got her daughter out the door, and came to a very crowded amusement park (did I mention it was about 60 degrees that day too?) simply to give away these tickets.

She could easily have said, "Oh well" and simply thrown them in the trash. But here she was, on the first day of the new year, doing something incredibly selfless.

Julie asked if we could Venmo her, which this kind woman immediately declined. We thanked them profusely, but it all happened so fast, that we never asked for their names.

Literally the kindness of strangers.

I have seen many posts and news stories that would lead you to believe "2023 is starting off terribly." But I can't disagree more.

Inevitably we'll all suffer great defeats, losses, illnesses, and even deaths that will affect us deeply. Unfortunately, that is reality of living regardless of the year printed on your Otter Calendar.

But, not even a full 24 hours into a brand spanking new year, I have a renewed optimism regarding humanity. Many thanks to these kind strangers for helping kick off our 2023 in such a pleasantly surprising way.

Wishing you ALL many more highs than lows and a very Happy New Year!