Elvis (Costello), And...

We kicked off our 3rd season of the "Elvis, And" podcast this weekend. By doing an episode that WASN'T about Elvis Presley at all!

When Brendan Carr and I started doing this podcast two years ago, we joked about how funny it would be to do an episode on Elvis Costello. I mean, there's nothing in the title that says "THIS IS ABOUT ELVIS PRESLEY!" I mean, how could there be and us not get sued?

So this past Saturday (4/1/2017 - April Fools Day), we aired an episode we recorded only a few weeks ago called "Elvis, And Saturday Night Live." Since Elvis Presley never appeared on SNL, it was clearly a story inspired by his namesake...the artist formerly known as Declan Patrick MacManus.

I knew about Elvis Costello and the Attraction's appearance when, much to the displeasure of Lorne Michaels, they decided to play a different song than they'd rehearsed. A different song than what was agreed upon by the show, network, and record label. A different song than what had been timed out to the second for the live broadcast. But I didn't know ANY of the details that surrounded that incident.

Such as, Costello was NEVER supposed to play!

Apparently The Sex Pistols were booked and ready to go, but someone forgot to acquire the proper paperwork to come to America. That someone was "band manager" Malcolm McLauren. Had he done the leg work needed to bring the Pistols oversees, we might never have had the rock star that is Elvis Costello. And we certainly wouldn't have had a podcast episode this weekend.

Also, to make matters worse for SNL producers, they had held a contest to find a "non famous" host for the show. This was the night it was scheduled to happen. 86 year old Miskel Spillman won the contest, and was ready to become a household name. Perhaps if, like Declan MacManus, she'd changed it to something more palatable, we'd all talk about her today. But as it stands, I had never heard of her OR the contest until Brendan read the monologue for this episode. I'm not an authority on Saturday Night Live, but I'd consider myself WAAAAY beyond a casual fan. So...

And finally...well, that's it. I only had two things, but I wanted to trick you into me following the rule of three.

This episode allowed us to do some CRAZY things we'd otherwise have never been able to do, such as go to CBGBs, hang out with Hilly Kristal, and give Debbie Harry head.

It was also a teen aged boy's dream, come true to be Malcolm McLauren for a scene. God, I love improv!

So, if you'd be oh so kind as to give this episode a listen, I think you'd learn something...about Elvis, Costello, about Saturday Night Live, and about how warped Brendan Carr, Matt Casarino, Lew Indellini, Jill Knapp, and I am.

Also, there might be a Don Pardo impression or two in here...

"Elvis, And The Million Dollar Quartet"

For anyone who has been following this blog AND my podcast "Elvis, And," I am eternally grateful!

We have a new (mini) episode today, which I am particularly fond of! Give it a listen if you have a few minutes. I assure you, it'll become a holiday tradition.

"Elvis, And The Million Dollar Quartet"

The Angst of Collecting Things

A while back, I made peace with my inner John Lennon and stopped collecting "things."
Toys, Comic Books, you name it...

There were various reasons:
To save money...
Because of limited storage space...
Because they made me tense...

"How could they make you tense, Kevin?"

Well, I'll give you an example:
(NOTE: I apologize if I have already blogged about this. I previously wrote a draft but am fairly certain I deleted it before ever posting it).

On Thursday July 30, 2009, my friend Kerry and I went to a Blue Rocks baseball game. They are the Kansas City Royals minor league team located in Wilmington, DE. On this particular night, the Blue Rocks were holding a promotion in which they gave away Bobble heads of Vice President (and Delaware's #1 resident) Joe Biden. We got to the game early, but unfortunately, we didn't realize every registered voter would be in line before us to get this keepsake. With a limit of 1,000 Bobble heads, they were out of "Amtrak" Joe before we got one. 

I recently saw a listing of the Bobble head from the night sold on Ebay for a reasonable $24.99. Not a terrible price if it's a must have for your collection.

The fact that I shed the obsession of collecting things helped me enjoy events I went to.

I no longer had to worry about getting to said event 3 hours early.
I no longer had to worry, once at said event, that my newly acquired trinket might be damaged in some way.
I no longer had to worry about not enjoying said event, because my mind was completely preoccupied with my newly acquired trinket and it's well being.

Fast forward to 2016.

My daughter recently revealed a fondness for Pez dispensers. Sure, at 2 and a half, she's probably more interested in the tiny pieces of block sugar than a dispenser of Daffy Duck, but it hasn't kept me from buying her everyone I see.

I feel no pressure to buy them. If a store doesn't have what I'm looking for, I'm not overly concerned. I figure, "Well, I'll find it eventually..or I won't and she won't care."

We even gave her ALL of the dispensers I'd bought for Julie over the years (that was my go to gift when we first started dating...or a cactus when I was a prick - that's a different story). Julie and I talked about this before giving them to her...I don't want you to think I re gifted presents I had originally bought for my wife (but let's be honest, she could careless about the block of sugar OR Daffy Duck).

The only dispensers I haven't given her are my Elvis Pez dispensers, but those babies may be worth some money!

What I'm saying is...there's a good chance I am encouraging the same "collecting" behaviors in my daughter that I fought so hard to overcome. And though I've kicked the habit, sometimes it rears it's ugly head...

Thursday July 21, 2016 (what is it with Thursdays in July?)

The Philadelphia Phillies are hosting their Star Wars night.
I organized a huge group of ComedySportz players to see the game.

This was an exciting night for various reasons, but not least of which was I'd get to see my buddy Jon, who was in town from Indiana, and finally meet his lovely bride.
My mom took Kit (and her Pez dispensers) while Julie and I went to the game.
About an hour before I left work, my buddy Shaun (a ComedySportz player, who bought his seat aside from the rest of the players) asked if I was getting a Phillie Phanatic Bobble head.
WHAT?
This sounds great:

The Bobble head is SOLD OUT?
NO! YOU PHILLIES SOLD OUT!

Well of course I'd get one. If they're "give aways." We'd ALL get one!
"You need a special ticket," Shaun said.
"What the fuck is this Willy Wonka 'Special Ticket' bullshit?" I asked my computer screen.
(Shaun and I were talking over G-chat).
Apparently, this is the new thing at sporting events. You have to buy a "Special Ticket" that gets you the "give away."

First thing: YES, those "Special Tickets" are more expensive than "regular" tickets.
Thus making it less of a "Give Away" and more of a "Give Me Your Fucking Money If You Want This Thing."

Second thing: WHAT THE HELL?!?
How the hell is this a thing? I have to have a special ticket WHICH I have to pay extra money for? What ever happened to getting to the game early as an incentive to root my team on from the first pitch?
(Obviously their playing isn't enough of an incentive these days - Phillies are 56-63 as of this writing)

I worked retail for 15 years.
(If you're a frequent reader, you've heard me talk/complain about that many times before)
On Black Friday, door busters were used to get people to come shop early, which also allowed you to staff your store appropriately.
If someone called and said, "Can you put aside a copy of Napoleon Dynamite on DVD for $5.00, I'll be in to pick it up in 3 hours." We'd simply tell them, "Sorry, I can't do that as the sale ends at 9:00 a.m." As opposed to FUCK YOU ASSHOLE, I'VE BEEN UP SINCE 4:30 THIS MORNING!

"I'll just stroll into the game around the 4th inning, and pick up my Bobble head." This is not a fan! Truthfully, this is neither a fan of The Phillies nor Star Wars. Phillies fans are there for the announcement of the starting line up. And Star Wars fans line up DAYS before things like this to make sure they get them.

What's worse is that one of the Phillie Phanatic Bobbleheads is listed on Ebay right now for $159.00! AND it's the last one in a set of 9 that the seller is bilking people for. This isn't someone who is a fan of the Phillies or Star Wars, this is someone who is a fan of money. Where's the fandom in that?

DAMMIT! See how quickly I fall back into it?

My hope is my daughter will collect things like Pez dispensers because she enjoys it, not because she hopes to cash in one day. The best way I can encourage it is to give her my Elvis Pez dispensers when I get home. But I might keep the "Vegas" Elvis one...just in case.

Elvis, And Dr. Nick

Season 2 of Elvis, And starts with Dr. Nick.

Starring a young Matt Casarino as the infamous Dr. Nick. Forget everything you think you know and spend 30+ minutes listening.

You won't need Web M.D. to find out if you're "Redboning."

Also, BEWARE OF THE SANDMAN!

Click here to listen

Elvis, And The Colonel

LISTEN TO EPISODE 3 OF "ELVIS, AND" HERE!!!

If you've been listening to the Elvis, And (you haven't, I track the numbers), this one is slightly different. Elvis himself doesn't show up until 20+ minutes into it. That's a first for us!

Instead we track the rise of, soon to be Elvis manager, Col. Tom Parker. Parker was a colorful character, who as Brendan points out in the opening monologue, may have killed a man (like Ty Cobb...only Cobb DEFINITELY killed a man!)

Parker manipulated Elvis (not unlike the rest of E's "hangers on") but the difference was his "friends" didn't want to suck him dry, while The Colonel did just that! It's a widely held belief among Elvisphiles that the Colonel was a contributing factor to putting Elvis in an early grave (well, and the drugs).

We don't go nearly this dark in the episode, but if you've got the time, give it a listen.
AND if you like it, please share it...and who knows, maybe leave us a review?

The Elvis, And - Podcast

When I was writing The Clink, a web series I wrote with Brendan Carr, Joel Rickenbach, Jim Burns, and occasionally Andrew Mitchell, Brendan would often regale us with entertaining stories about Elvis Presley.

Brendan had been a guest star on a previous web series I produced with Joel called The League. 
Editor's Note: Brendan is the Magician

That's when I found out that he and I shared a common love for the King of Rock and Roll...it's rather obvious Brendan is a fan of 50s music, because he looks like he probably rolled with Carl Perkins and the like.


Each week we'd all coax Brendan into sharing a new twisted tale to ease us into our writing sessions.

Joel and I had been doing a podcast called "You've Got Geek On You" (an homage to Shaun of the Dead's, "You've got red on you, did you know that?") The show has since been shortened to simply "You've Got Geek." We asked Brendan to join the podcast because of his unique voice and veracious love of ALL things "Geek."

Week after week, long after The Clink had wrapped, Brendan and I would recount various strange Elvis stories. We'd talk about doing a special "You've Got Geek" episode or maybe even a podcast of it's own, specifically about the man we called, "E."

Things got busy, life got crazy and my short sabbatical from the podcast turned into 2 years.

Then, last fall, Brendan and I went out for drinks. We discussed the podcast and talked of structuring it like an Improv montage. (Brendan had turned my on to MANY character driven Improv podcasts such as Comedy Bang Bang and Superego). This would almost be a homage to those podcasts...or, Elvis willing, a podcast to sit among my favorite shows on iTunes.

I recruited various comedian/actors to come play the parts. 

The first person I thought of, was Lew Indellini. We had done a play together in early 2014 (immediately following the birth of my daughter). The late night rehearsals, where I was sitting in a corner learning my lines while missing my wife and daughter who were at home, were made easier in meeting Lew and finding out (among other things) that he too was a HUGE fan of podcasts such as Superego. When it came time to cast "Elvis, And" I knew I wanted him on board.
*Editor's Note: He was also once my parents-in-law's mail carrier!

Then, Adam Wahlberg. Adam and I had done various shows, including "Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson," as well as an original musical I wrote with Joe Trainor (of "The Joe Trainor Trio" fame) called, "On The Air." We also did a murder mystery dinner together that was maybe the most amazing, punk rock, murder mystery that ever was! We toyed with doing a web series based on those characters, which I haven't ruled out. Adam also helps me with my "day job." He's been in front of the camera for A LOT of safety reg videos. So of course he's gotta be part of my Memphis Mafia!

Jim McCabe. I have known, "The Voice" since I was 6 years old. In our first meeting, Brendan said, "McCabe for the Colonel, right?" You're goddamn right! Jim also jumped in to do some gratis VO work. I hate asking friends to ply their trades for no payment. But Jim was happy to do it, and even offered to do far more.

Rounding out the cast for season 1 is one of my fellow ComedySportz players, Steve Roney. Steve and I had been working on another project, and when I mentioned "Elvis, And" he said, "Oh that sounds fun." I asked if he'd be interested in doing it and the next thing I knew a microphone was in front of him. Perfect.

Finally, though not a cast member (yet), his presences is felt in EVERY episode, Matt Casarino. He, along with Jill Knapp, provide the rocking rockabilly back bone that is the music of the entire series. From the theme song to the transition music between scenes, Matt was only too gracious to take on every weird (Elvislike) request I had. We now own a monkey together. Seriously, Matt & Jill are a FORCE in the band Hot Breakfast (HOT BREAKFAST!) If you haven't and can, SEE THEM LIVE!

So here we are. The first episode of what I hope will be a fun monthly show for people to enjoy. Episodes are approximately 30 minutes in length. Maybe they help ease a part of your commute during the month. Or give you a laugh while taking a walk on the weekend. Or even just allow you some much needed humor as you unwind at the end of the day.

Taking the Improv tenet of "Yes, And..." and adding a pair of side burns to it, here is the monthly podcast, "Elvis, And." 

Look for new episodes the first of the month through February 2016.

CLICK HERE for Episode 1: "Elvis, And Scatter"

Return To Sender (Get it? It's an Elvis song about mailing shit)

Three things a kid never says they want to be when they grown up:

1. A Maintenance Man
2. An Elvis Impersonator
3. A conspiracy theorist who sends Ricin to The President of the United States of America

Paul Kevin Curtis hit the trifecta as ALL three!

In honor of this BOZO, here's Elvis Presley's REAL T.C.B. Oath:

More self-respect, more respect for fellow man.
Respect for fellow students and instructors.
Respect for all styles and techniques.
Body conditioning, mental conditioning, mediation for calming and stilling of the mind and body.
Sharpen your skills, increase mental awareness, for all those that might choose a new outlook and personal philosophy.
Freedom from constipation.

That last line says it all doesn't it?