"Was David Seville a Primordial Dwarf?"

Don't be alarmed, it's not Christmas yet, Wait...I actually have no idea what day it is...
...okay, I checked. It's Memorial Day Weekend, not Christmas. So hang in there everyone.

I posted this photo, because if you were born before 1985, this is the way you most likely know the Chipmunks. (I assume, I've done zero research on the matter, and still feel taxed).

But THIS photo immediately leaves me with a question that I posed to Google:

"Was David Seville a primordial dwarf?"

Lately we have had more and more chipmunks showing up in our yard. Today, my wife took a photo of one.

Look at the size of those peanuts compared to that little dude! He's so tiny! Now go back to the top and look at David Seville in comparison to Alvin, Simon, and Theodore...depth of field aside, David is petite! Like, fit in your hand petite! He's not even twice the size of Simon (the tallest of the chipmunks)!

So I repose the question: "Was David Seville a primordial dwarf?"

OR, were the chipmunks in fact, NOT CHIPMUNKS AT ALL? Maybe they were bear cubs. 
Christmas with the Bear Cubs doesn't have the ring to it that "Chipmunks" does, so I could see a big record mogul saying, let's call these bear cubs, chipmunks.

Or maybe they aren't animals, but rather very hair humans. It would explain why they could talk as well as sing Christmas standards. I guess a bear cub can be trained to do that, but while disguised as a chipmunk? Seems pretty far-fetched.

Google didn't give me any results to my question. I'll keep looking and get back to you with my findings. Maybe I'll try Bing.

Jenny McCarthy HATES the Cure

Things got heated in an Aldi parking lot this weekend when Jenny McCarthy and The Cure’s front man, Robert Smith ran into each other.

In fact, it was Mr. Smith who literally collided with Ms. McCarthy as he attempted to avoid a young man handing out Hair Cuttery Coupons on the sidewalk.

At least that’s what my cousin told me. He’s studying to be a doctor, although he hasn’t been enrolled in an accredited school in 4 or 5 years. But he’s always right. I remember when he told me the ending of Lost was probably going to be a let down, and sure enough…

Alvin said, oh, that’s my cousin’s name, “Alvin.” He used to go by Ally when we were kids. Otherwise people made fun of him by saying things like, “Here comes Alvin and the Chipmunks.” 

Ironically, I have another cousin, Alvin’s brother, whose name is Teddy. I didn’t realize his name was actually Theodore until about 3 years ago when he was a groomsman in a wedding and they listed his proper name.

(Left to Right: Aunt Jeanette, Simone, Ally, Uncle Dave, Teddy)

Any way, Ally thinks Alvin sounds more grown up, so he’s been asking that we call him that now. So Alvin said, Jenny McCarthy dropped all of her groceries and Robert Smith tried to help her pick them up.

She started yelling to anyone who would listen, “Did you see what the Cure just did to me?!?” And "The Cure will kill us all!"

I’ll admit, I was confused why she was yelling this when Ally, er Alvin first told me this story. Mostly because he originally said it was Robert Plant, not Robert Smith.

He always had a Bill Paxton/Bill Pullman thing with Robert Plant and Robert Smith. He also was convinced Robert Smith was the lead singer of The Smiths for a long time. He was so adamant about it, that he once dropped our Quizzo Team, “Simon Says” from 3rd to 4th place.

We almost cracked that elusive top three!

I asked Ally if this happened at 10:15 Saturday Night. He didn’t seem to get the reference and instead replied that it was Sunday and Aldi closes at 8pm. He also asked that I call him Alvin.

Not to take away from the story, which has already been “liked” by 11 people on his Twitter page, but I asked why Jenny McCarthy and Robert Smith would be at an Aldi in Malvern, PA on a random Sunday. He said they probably were selling something at QVC whose studios are located nearby.

I was pretty sure that wasn’t the case, as Quacker Factory has Sunday evenings all locked up to itself (Mom never misses it!)

I guess we’ll never know.

It was a good story though, and it’s now up to 13 “likes.”