The Flag Doesn't Need YOUR Wind To Wave

With the 4th of July quickly approaching, we'll all be treated to an array of "patriotic" behaviors:

• Fireworks exploding in tiny neighborhoods, well past most (sober) people's bedtimes.
• A superfluous amount of sales that include the words "4th of July" impetuously tacked on to the advertisement.
• And of course, flags. Flags as far as the eye can see!

I was a Boy Scout, before that a Webelos, and before that still, a Cub Scout. The one hold over I have continued since my more youthful days is a stringent respect for Old Glory, the flag of The United States of America.

Even as a lily-hearted liberal, I still strongly believe in Flag Etiquette. An etiquette that will go RIGHT out the window for virtually every American during the first week of July.

You disagree?

OK. Let's check out a few things. USFlag.org lists various "standards of respect" for the US Flag. They include:

The flag should never be dipped to any person or thing.

You think some asshole, ISN'T going to "dip" this in chocolate? OK, that might not be the "dip" they had in mind.

It is flown upside down only as a distress signal.

Pac Sun does sell "distressed jeans" perhaps this was their way of "signaling" it.

The flag should not be used as a drapery, or for covering a speakers desk, draping a platform, or for any decoration in general.

Leave it to GettyImages to get this wrong. Pretty fucking proud of that water mark now, aren't ya?

Bunting of blue, white and red stripes is available for these purposes. The blue stripe of the bunting should be on the top.

Had a 50/50 chance of getting this right. You know...like voting.

The flag should never be used for any advertising purpose.

It should not be embroidered, printed or otherwise impressed on such articles as cushions, 

handkerchiefs, 

napkins, 

boxes,

or anything intended to be discarded after temporary use. 

Sorry Katy, I couldn't help myself.

Advertising signs should not be attached to the staff or halyard

The flag should not be used as part of a costume 

or athletic uniform, 

except that a flag patch may be used on the uniform of military personnel, fireman, policeman and members of patriotic organizations.

Ah yes, the patriotic organization known as a minor league baseball team!

The flag should never have placed on it, or attached to it, any mark, insignia, letter, word, number, figure, or drawing of any kind.

The flag should never be used as a receptacle for receiving, holding, carrying, or delivering anything.

When a flag is so worn it is no longer fit to serve as a symbol of our country, it should be destroyed by burning in a dignified manner.

And finally - 

No part of the flag should touch the ground or any other object;

Driving to the shore on Memorial Day weekend this year, I counted FIVE flags discarded on the side of the road. Because, when you're doing 80 mphs down Rt.55, there sure is a lot of wind!

Elvis, And Dr. Nick

Season 2 of Elvis, And starts with Dr. Nick.

Starring a young Matt Casarino as the infamous Dr. Nick. Forget everything you think you know and spend 30+ minutes listening.

You won't need Web M.D. to find out if you're "Redboning."

Also, BEWARE OF THE SANDMAN!

Click here to listen

GOOD TIMES!

Hey, I have a question for you?

Do you eat pizza?
How about instant noodles?
Ice cream?
Chocolate?
Margarine?
Cookies?
Packaged bread?

Do you use bio diesels?
Or detergent?
You must use shampoo?

Yeah? Me too. We all do! Most of these products contain palm oil.

According to the World Wildlife Federation, in the last 20 years over 3.5 million hectares (a hectare is equal to 100 acres) of forest in Indonesia and Malaysia have been destroyed to make way for palm oil. This is catastrophically up-heaving the life cycles of over 80 species, including orangutans. 
Over 6,000 orangutans are dying every year, that's over 16 a day.

And while I realize that orangutans and a gorillas are not the same species, if you partake in ANY of the products mentioned above (you do), SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT WHAT COULDA/SHOULDA BEEN DONE in the Cincinnati zoo last weekend. 

You're shit stinks, just like everyone else's.

In unrelated news, you can buy the Monkee's new album, Good Times by clicking here.

Mounting Evidence that Donald Trump is Biff Tannen

There's a rumor that has been going around the internet that Donald Trump is in fact Biff Tannen from the future. The nemesis of Marty McFly from Back to the Future. This isn't a fringe thing, there are a lot of sources:

Like This One
And This One
And This One
And EVEN This One

Google itself will automatically suggested Donald Trump as it's first suggestion if you start to type "Biff Tannen" into the search engine.

Hell, even Bob Gale, BTTF's writer confirmed he used Trump as his "inspiration" for the warped character.

But Biff is a fictitious character, right?

THIS is a Tweet that was sent out by Trump today for Cinco de Mayo. Sure it just seems like typical political pandering by a guy who has promised to build a wall between the US and Mexico.

But take a closer look at the photograph he Tweeted.

Specifically at the book on his desk...

See it?

No?

How about now:

Look familiar?

How about this:

CLICK for more info.

That's right, Grays Sports Almanac!

HOLY SHIT!
Donald Trump IS Biff Tannen! 

And what's worse, he's flaunting it!

From Westeros to the White House: PART 2

WAAAAY back in June of 2014, I wrote a blog about the 2016 Presidential Election called "From Westeros to The White House." You can find it here:

http://lickrosco.blogspot.com/2014/06/from-westeros-to-white-house.html

Last night, Ted Cruz dropped out of the race giving the Republicna nomination to Donald Trump. Trump was not mentioned in my original piece, as he was on NO ONE's radar at that time. He didn't announce his candidacy until whole year later, June 16, 2015.

So how close was I? Well...

Similar to Joe Biden, Samwell Tarly hasn't really factored in this season. 

We all wondered whether he'd throw his hat in the ring, but in the end he's remained on the side lines. Perhaps we'll see more of him in some capacity, but that remains to be seen.

Neither Andrew Cuomo, nor Robb Stark really took the family name to new heights, at least on a national level. Sure there are people who remain loyal to the King of the North but it seems, for him, Winter has come and gone.

Quite frankly, I'm not sure what part of the world either Howard Dean or Tyrion Lannister are in right now. Truthfully, I think the adage "I drink, and know things," only applies to one of them.

Jeb! Your campaign never really got off the ground, did it? Constantly living in the shadow of your older, "successful," brother. Looks like you "Standis" alone, which is more than can be said for Standis himself, who is dead.

This fucking douche! How Ted Crux made it farther than Viserys I'll never know. They had about the same amount of likability. I'd imagine if Viserys ever had a wife he'd have knocked her around as well.

Whatever. Good riddance.

Chris Christie is done, but has realigned himself with whom he feels has the best chance of taking the throne. You sure got a lot of moves, eh buddy? 

Rickon and Huckabee sounds like a shitty buddy cop moving from the 70s. But at this point, we've forgotten about both of you.

Thought for dead, some people believe the Hound still lingers. Maybe he'll return with a pair of glasses to make him look smarter. Or, like Rick Perry, maybe he'll stay "dead."

I'd say that Mitt Romney's presence is still felt throughout the land ala Tywin Lannister, but let's be honest? What presence? When he came out against Trump, the Republican voters skewered him not unlike Tyrion's arrow.

"Hand of the King" vs "Guy Who's Name Sounds Like Something A Hand Goes Into"

Little Finger & Rand Paul. Both seem to be gone, but I have no doubt both will be back. With similar haircuts.

Hodor returned! YAY!
(If) Santorum returned? BOO!

We got some depth out of Hodor lately, learning his name is Wylis and he used to speak!

There's no depth to be found in Rick Santorum and I wish he'd stop speaking all together.

Did you "Feel the Bern?"

I admit when I wrote the original piece back in 2014 I didn't know much about Bernie Sanders, nor did I know much about Mace Tyrell.

However, I have since learned that each of them have produced some rather amazing things, making me wish I could live in their worlds.

Bernie spawned a revolution looking to bring equality to the masses.

Mace spawned Margaery Tyrell.

Truthfully, if I could only choose to live in one of these worlds, I'd rely on penicillin to cure any "burning" sensations.

I mean, come on!

That brings us to Ms. "In-It-To-Win-It."

Polarizing though she may be, she's strong as fuck and that scares the hell out of people (both her enemies and her allies). I admit I wasn't the biggest fan, but I have certainly come around.

The way she's been treated has been deplorable.

If she was a man, she'd would be celebrated across the entire "Kingdom"...well, maybe not the incest stuff.

But both Hillary and Ceresei are formidable opponents and it'll take more than a "walk of shame" to bring either one of them down.

Which leaves us with, Donald Trump or Drumpf as it may show up in your browser.

Who is this Johnny come lately in the Westeros/White House quest for the throne?

Is he a Jamie Lannister? A guy who was once close with Hillary and now has seemingly turned his back on her?

Is he a Joffrey Baratheon? An immature boy king with questionable lineage and an ignorance that seems to lead to violence where ever he goes?

Is he Ramsey Bolton? A bastard who happens to be an absolute sociopath?

or 

Is he Jaqen H'ghar? A man of many faces who seems to have disciples following him blindly?

Yes. He's all of them.

But, all added up, he's the Mad King, Aerys II Targaryen.

A horrendous tyrant who met his end at the sword of one of his own followers.

"He loved to watch people burn...He burned lords he didn't like. He burned Hands who disobeyed him. He burned anyone who was against him. Before long, half the country was against him."

The night is dark and full of assholes.

- I might have paraphrased that a bit.

The Wave - 10 Years Ago

Kevin, Jim, and Gordon (Joel took the photo)

In March 2006, four friends got together to grow mustaches and curse a lot on camera.

That's the story of The Wave.

But the story actually began on July 18, 2002.

That was the day Vincente Padilla and the Philadelphia Phillies lost to Matt Clement and the Cubs...Oh, and my car got towed.

Joel Rickenbach, my partner in yelling at the Phillies, and I took in an afternoon game at the now defunct Veteran Stadium. We saw Bobby Abreu hit not one, but two triples scoring Ricky Ledee each time (admit it, if you've ever heard it before, Ricky Ledee was a name you never expect to hear again).

Joel and I sat in left field behind Pat Burrell. In between innings, a pretty blonde from the stands would talk to him. We'd later realize that pretty blonde was his (then) girlfriend, local soccer star Heather Mitts.

Jim Bunning was on hand to make a special guest appearance, but the Phillies offense wasn't. They lost 6-4.

Joel and I slowly walked back to my "secret parking spot" where I had been parking for free for many years. An old abandoned Supermarket parking lot. Not much of a secret as many other people parked there too. I presume they were also towed as well.

This forced Joel and I to take a taxi to Roxborough to get my car out of the impound. I forget the total cost of the taxi and impound, but I still maintain my years of free parking made up for it.

I now hightailed it down Rt. 76 to get Joel to his shift at Movies U Buy on time. As we were heading South, I waved in a car that was merging from an on ramp. The guy flew on to the road never waving or even acknowledging me. I became irate saying that him not waving was the same as cutting me off. Joel defended the guy...to an extent. That night I went home and started writing "The Wave."

Fast forward to the next Spring 2003 (I think). Somewhere footage exists of a few scenes showing a wildly different version of the short film starring myself, Jim Brett, and John Tatarelli Jr. The shoot ended up getting rained out. On top of which, Joel & I were not in love with the camera rig we were using at the time. We decided to scrap the whole thing...

Sabrina recently sent me these photos. I'm not sure if I forgot they existed or never knew in the first place
(Sabrina took these photos)

...at least until the end of winter 2006. I had been hanging out with Jim Burns and Gordon Holmes through various City Theater shows. Julie & I were also getting ready to move into a house. Boxes were packed, but that wouldn't stop us from growing out some sweet facial hair and trying again.

This was late March. In fact it was Saturday March 25 & Sunday March 26. I know this because the South Park episode, The Return of Chef aired on Wednesday March 22, 2006. And the word "Jewbs," would become synonymous with this shoot...at least until a little graffiti appeared at our final location.

The script was pulled out of mothballs, a few extra "fucks" were added, and we were ready to go!

On the 1st day of shooting:

Gordon:

This script has the eff word in it a lot.

Kevin:

Too much?

Gordon:

Maybe we should pull back a bit.

Kevin:

Good call.

We didn't. In fact, we added WAAAAY more eff words!

Gordon getting a "fuck" count between takes.

And off we went!

1st day of shooting with our fearless director.

Second day of shooting, was windy as hell.
Also you can see that cast is also crew...and apparently trying to "mic" Jim's butt.

Last shot of the film!
(I made that up, this was the 2nd day though)

Overall, I enjoy the piece. It might not be the greatest thing we've done, but we were still learning what the hell we were doing. Plus, the shoot itself gave us great, and sometimes embarrassing, memories like Gordon, Jim, and I going out in public with our mustaches since we were in the middle of a 2 day shoot.

As previously mentioned, while on the parking garage we encounter some graffiti that would become an inside joke to me, Joel, Jim, and Gordon for the rest of ours lives. And I'm now sharing it with you. It'll mean nothing to you, nor should it. But when the phrase "Cold Titties!" pops in my head, it stirs up a joyousness that only this picture can truly capture:

I am extremely grateful for the time spent filming and generally screwing around with Joel, Jim, and Gordon on this and many other projects.

I can not believe it's been 10 years since we embarked on this weird adventure. And I'm fairly certain I can speak for Jim & Gordon when I say that we miss the hell out of our friend Joel, but no one misses those mustaches!