"Banished" Words of 2020

At the beginning of every year, Lake Superior University compiles a list of words they wish to be "banished," which had grown popular in the previous year.

Along with having never heard of Lake Superior University (sounds like a "back-up" school), there are some words on this list I have never heard before...well, at least one.

You can find the FULL listing here:

https://www.lssu.edu/traditions/banishedwords/

Many of the "Words That Should Not Be Named" are completely unrealistic, such as "COVID-19" or "coronavirus."

While I completely respect the sentiment here, there is just no way we could eliminate something that has had such an enormous impact on ALL of world history. Especially when we have yet to "eliminate" the disease itself (I mean, come on, wear the fucking mask!)

However, I can 100% get behind ridding the world of words such as "Rona," which seems like the laziest SLANG ever created. I mean COME ON, say the whole damn thing! We aren't going anywhere. We've got the time!

"Social Distancing" is another word (or phrase) on the chopping block. This I concur with, as it doesn't seem to capture the true spirit of what is necessary in these turbulent times:

People are so demonstratively stupid, it makes sense to eliminate this phrase for one that spells out completely what is necessary. Therefore saying something like, "Stand 6 feet away from each other, but since you all suck at simple mathematics, let's just say "six seats" away. Be it a seat at a concert, sporting event, or movie theater...none of which we are able to go to, because you fuckers don't know what 6 feet means (also, wear the fucking mask)!"

*Clearly this needs a "rona" like abbreviation.

The phrase "I know, right" should have been eliminated long ago, along with "I'm just saying," "I can't even," & "This" when none of them are accompanied with any other independent thought. Probably, even if they are.

"Karen" can stay. At least for another year. I know some amazing Karens and not one of them is represented by the stereotypical "Karen," but I'd imagine most of them are all for the sentiment. As the male equivalent, "Kevin," I also have no problem with this sticking around.
(*But let's be honest, "Kevin" should be replaced with "Grant" or "Tyler" or something like that, but whateves...)

"Whateves" isn't on the list, but should be.

And finally, "Sus." I have never heard this before. In fact, I thought it was a typo and they meant "Cis." But apparently, this hip dude was not aware of the word "Sus," which is an abbreviation of the word "Suspect." I can think of one, "about to be unseated Presidential Administration" that might be interested in getting rid of this word.

My personal belief is that we should be working less toward eliminating words, and more towards getting people to read the entirety of articles filled with them as opposed to merely headlines, but whateves...

Also, wear the fucking mask!

"HOPE" - Ain't Just A Poster

In 2008, Shepard Fairey's "Hope" poster became a symbol of change that, then presidential nominee, Barack Obama would bring to the White House.

It is still an image that brings about a lot of emotions regardless of political belief.
If you're PRO-bama (I AM!), it brings about a feeling of optimism, possibility, quite simply -HOPE.
If you're ANTI-bama (If you're reading this, you're likely not), it brings about feelings of anger, frustration, negativity.

What it never did, until last night, was brought about a feeling of prognostication.

Late yesterday, it was revealed Donald and Melania Trump have tested positive for COVID-19. A lot of people believe they may have contracted it on the campaign trail from Trump's adviser, Hope Hicks who tested positive a couple days before.

Donald Trump is 74 years old. This puts him in a much higher risk grouping than if he were say 51 years older, which is how old Barack Obama was when he was running for re-election in 2012.

Obesity is often cited as an extremely high risk factor in COVID-19 patients. And contrary to the "medical reports" that come from the White House, Trump doesn't seem to be the model of good health. We have all seen the photos of Donald Trump on the golf course. They don't appear to be of a svelte man who is concerned about his BMI.

It remains to be seen how serious this diagnosis will affect him, but personally, at this point, I'd prefer to see Trump removed from office at the polls. And definitively so! If however this virus proves to be the downfall of this President, Fairey's poster will take on a much more ominous meaning.

We always hear about weird *facts in politics such as Abraham Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy and John F. Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

But THIS would be more akin to General George B. McClellan running against Lincoln on the platform of changing the seating in local diners with the following poster:

Regardless, it would appear, "It is what it is."








*FACT: Lincoln’s secretaries were named John George Nicolay and John M. Hay, not Kennedy.

Progress Takes Time

I know, like me, most of you are stuck inside during this pandemic.

It sucks. It's awful. It's downright scary. But then I remember, progress takes time.

I have a 6 year old.

You know this if you read my blog and can do simple math.

Last year I had a 5 year old, and the same crummy blog.

That's how that works.

One of the things my daughter has taught me as a father is that "progress takes time."

Sure you can get frustrated at something that seems like it will go on forever, such as Covid-19, or you can hang in there until one day you have a clean bathroom and tub.

...stay with me:

When you have a baby, you don't even bathe her in the tub. You use the sink. Or you register for one of those little baby tubs that you never use because you still use the sink.

(*This is where my wife will say, "We used that tub all the time!" So if you bought it from our registry for us, Thank You!)

Then, after almost no time at all, you progress to the REAL tub and take tons of photos no one will ever see. Not because you don't want to embarrass your naked kid, but because YOU are embarrassed at the horrible looking caulk that surrounds the tub! You really should bleach it one of these weekends.

The early days of the tub are difficult. 

You have to hold the kid up the whole time, while you, the bathroom floor, and somehow the kitchen ceiling end up covered with more water than the baby!

But as the kid grows older, they begin to sit up on their own. And then all sorts of bath toys are introduced.

Soon you find that there are so many bath toys you're not even sure the kid is getting cleaned. You're just washing down toys for a half hour every night.

Then as more time goes by the child actually tells you the toys they want to bring into to the tub. Going so far as to request toys for her birthday with the sole purpose of taking them into the bath tub.

More time passes and you tell the child it's their responsibility to get the toys they want before the bath AND to remove them from the tub when the bath is over...preferably, dried.

You tell them this over and over and over, with varying degrees of success...mostly none.

Then more time goes by and you can now start the child's bath, but leave them to play. You return to dry them and "help" them clean the toys from the tub, which mostly consists of YOU cleaning the tub.

Even more time goes by and you now only have to turn the water on at a temperature, that after much trial and error, is deemed, "okay, I guess."

...and then you have to run back upstairs at Olympic speeds when the continuously water starts to pour through the kitchen ceiling.

More time. More advancements. She now can get out on her own and dry off. Sure you'll find a soaked towel on the floor when you go up at the end of the night, but you and the wife got to watch that episode of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and it only took you 4 days!

Still every morning there are somewhere between 10-15 dolls whose hair needs to be shaken out before you remove them from the tub to take a shower.

Some more time and you realize you're going through shampoo at a very quick rate, only to be told, "Oh, I needed it for my potions."

You've got so little hair left you figure, "Whatever."

Then, after what seems like six years of having the same argument over and over and over, you look in the tub...and it's completely clean. 

No dolls. No wet towels on the floor. No remaining "potions."

That's when you realize, process takes time and this pandemic WILL END! 

...but the caulk still looks like fucking shit.